


Cooking For Idiots

by sydneyxface



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, BottomZoro, College, Cooking Lessons, First Dates, Love at First Kick to the Face, M/M, Rimming, TopSanji, YouTube, sanzo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:35:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25665241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sydneyxface/pseuds/sydneyxface
Summary: Sanji is a popular Youtuber who teaches people how to cook delicious meals - it's so easy, even an idiot could do it.Zoro thinks the Youtuber is pretty funny with all the rude language he uses, and, he has a sexy voice.Who knew they lived in the same town and would end up meeting?Alternate Universe, 2019, USA. Post-time skip appearances (minus Zoro’s eye scar).Three little photos I put together for this are included in ch1.INCLUDES ILLUSTRATION AT THE END of ch3 by @buri_op on Twitter! Thank you, boo, for the STEAMING art piece! <3
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 86
Kudos: 343





	1. Zoro

**Author's Note:**

> All recipes are linked to their specific photo, check'em out of you're interested!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro stumbles upon a crass YouTuber who teaches people how to cook. He never imagined the man would be from the same town as him! And a babe who is fully capable of handing his ass to him, at that. What’s not to love?

Zoro was bored. Everyone else was scrambling to finish the semester’s projects or cram for exams. He was in his senior year of college at Washington University. Summer was almost here and that meant he’d be graduated and thrown into the ‘real world’ as everyone had been telling him for the past ten years. 

As his roommate bobbed his head to the music while studying in the dining room, Zoro laid sprawled on the couch in his underwear browsing through his Facebook. He liked the stupid videos people posted and found that he spent most of his time scrolling through the seemingly endless entertainment more than he participated in commenting on friend’s photos and such. He lazily rubbed his hands through his short, green hair.

“Make me food,” Luffy whined. Books were spread across the entire surface of the table around a notebook and laptop. He sat there tapping his pen on the paper waiting for his roommate to answer him.

“No thanks,” Zoro grunted. “‘Sides, you just want the distraction. That pre-exam is Monday, you know. Better get to it.” Zoro continued browsing videos when he heard a _thump,_ no doubt it being Luffy’s head slamming against the tabletop. 

“Please, Zoro. I’m serious, I’m so hungry.”

Zoro didn’t reply. He snorted at a stupid kid falling off a bicycle, though. _Now that’s funny,_ he thought. The next video to pop up was of cooking a steak, which sounded amazing right now. He knew Luffy would cry if he saw this video. He planned on scrolling past it but the title had him rethinking. It read _Cast Iron Steak For Idiots._ Since it had to do with steak and insults, he’d at least give it the first thirty seconds.

As the video started, two pale hands came into view and started working with a beautifully marbled piece of meat. A deep baritone voice spoke.

[ ](https://www.filson.com/blog/food/cast-iron-steak-recipe/)

_“Sup, Shit-heads. Today I’m going to teach you how to make a decent steak in a cast-iron skillet. If you don’t own one, fucking buy one. It makes everything tastier.”_

The man proceeded on with the video while Zoro laughed. He couldn’t believe some guy was making a real effort of teaching people how to cook with _that_ language. He watched the whole twenty-ish minute video and found the guy quite amusing with his crude narration. 

“Shit, you know what? I think we have all these ingredients here in the apartment.”

“You’re gonna cook!?” Luffy squawked, vibrating in his seat. “Oh my god, you’re a lifesaver, Zoro! My favorite person in the world!”

With great effort, Zoro sat up from the couch to check for the ingredients. He set his phone on the counter and opened the video on Youtube. “Alright, let’s see exactly what it says.” Zoro released the extended information and it had a list of ingredients. 

First ingredient: Ribeye steak. 

_Simple enough._ Zoro knew Luffy’s older brother had dropped off some groceries last night as he always did on Fridays. In the fridge on a plate sat a hunk of meat from the deli in a nice brown, paper packaging. The label said it was tenderloin and Zoro didn’t know if it cooked any different than a ribeye. Shrugging, he pulled it out and set it on the counter. 

Second ingredient: Grapeseed oil. 

_Grapes have oil?_ Zoro took a moment to think about what the hell a grapeseed was and how you’d extract oil from it. _Who the fuck is this guy?_ An asterisked note next to the oil read ‘or another cooking oil to replace.’ “Oi, Luffy, you use this olive oil for cooking, right?” Zoro asked, holding up a green bottle. 

Luffy gave him a weird look as if he had two heads before typing on his computer. “Looks like that’s exactly what it’s used for,” he informed the other.

“I could have Googled it, too, you know,” Zoro said with an eye roll. _Whatever. Next._ The rest of the ingredients were butter, garlic cloves, thyme sprigs, shallots, fancy salt, regular salt, and pepper. _I only have minced garlic from a jar and dried thyme flakes...and what’s the deal with the salt? And_ “What the fuck is a shallot?” Zoro asked aloud. He could hear Luffy already ticking away on the keyboard again.

“Onion,” he answered.

“Is this dude a priss or something? Trying to teach idiots to cook but has fancy oil, fancy onions, fancy salt, and just has ‘sprigs of thyme’ laying around the fucking kitchen?”

“Please stop,” Luffy said in a daze. His mouth was already watering and ruining the ink on his notes at the thought of those ingredients coming together to make a delicious meal. “I can’t believe you’re going to cook us steak dinner, Zoro.”

The green-haired man frowned. He already had the pile of ingredients out but if he knew this was going to be such a snooty recipe he would have stayed on the couch. “Whatever. Also, I only got this pepper in this lil tin, you think that will be okay? The guy says fresh pepper. How do you get fresh pepper? When did you buy this, Luf?” he asked and looked for an expiration date.

The younger roommate laughed, holding his belly. “I dunno! Sabo bought it, you know that.”

Zoro nodded. Almost everything in this damn apartment came from Sabo. The guy was practically both Luffy’s _and_ Zoro’s older brother. 

With everything set, Zoro watched the video again as he followed along. Slowly, the apartment filled with the delicious aroma of cooked meat, and even Zoro couldn’t stop himself from salivating. It looked like it was turning out alright, but by the time it was nearing the end, Zoro was confused.

_“Now after letting it rest on a roasting rack for ten to fifteen minutes, put the ribeye back into the pan on medium heat with the…”_

Zoro stopped the video. “I’m putting it _back in_ now?! What the hell, I’ve never cooked steak like this!” Zoro was over the Youtuber’s shitty crass humor and was only left with frustration. Growling, Zoro did as he was told.

 _“Let it sit in the melted butter for a minute to reheat it,”_ the man said and the hands in the video could be seen repeatedly spooning the liquidy butter over the meat like a bath. _“Then transfer it to a cutting board to…”_

“Oh my god! How many fucking times am I moving this damn shit?!” Zoro yelled.

 _“Take your knife and slice against the grain, like this,”_ he said and the video showed the hands expertly cutting through the steak. Red juice welled up and oozed out around each slice of the knife. Zoro wanted to cry because it looked so good. His tenderloin looked different than that, of course, but he thinks he did a decent job of it.

“Oi, did you know there is a wrong way to cut meat?” Zoro asked and lifted his phone as if Luffy could see from across the dining room. The brunette scrubbed his hair in confusion and Zoro nodded in agreement. “Right, that’s what I thought, too. He says to cut it against the grain. I don’t know what the grain is or what it looks like.”

For the third time, Luffy typed up a question on Google. This time the answer didn’t come as fast as the other two. Zoro watched him read a few things and heard the touchpad clicking around. “Don’t care,” he finally said and went back to his studying. 

Annoyed, Zoro returned to the video to match what the man was doing. He didn’t blame Luffy, though. If he couldn’t find an answer in ten seconds then it wasn’t worth his time. 

The two of them ate their tenderloin. It was good, despite the meat difference. As they ate, Zoro felt proud of himself. “All Blue Eyes is his username,” he said aloud, more to himself. 

He left a comment.

 **_GreenIsGood:_ ** _Tried it with tenderloin and it worked out pretty much the same. No cast-iron skillet, though._

___

  
  


Monday classes sucked. But all classes sucked. He was only going to college to get his old man off his back. Even as the day dragged on, it finally ended as all days do. Zoro was soon back in the apartment in his underwear doing nothing on the couch except watching stupid videos.

At the top of his phone was a notification he didn’t normally see. It was a comment from Youtube. Zoro opened it and someone replied to the comment he left on Saturday night about the cooking video.

**_BarbellsandBabes:_ ** _loser_

Zoro scoffed. _The hell is wrong with people on the internet,_ he thought and switched back over to Facebook. People like that weren’t worth his time. 

___

Wednesday rolled around and Zoro had never received so many comments from Youtube - ever. It wasn’t a lot but Zoro didn’t normally leave any sort of comments on videos, so when he received eighteen replies, he felt a little overwhelmed from all the attention. He knew he shouldn’t have even said anything in the first place, it’s not like the damn poster reads them all, the guy has hundreds of comments to sift through! The dude has quite a decent following.

Most of the comments could be summed up by the following;

 **_ChefLife4Life:_ ** _it said to use ribeye, tho_

 **_xxblackhawkupxx:_ ** _wowowowow can’t even follow directions????? Can’t read, can you?_

 **_Flowerpowergirl:_ ** _Oh, thank you for letting us know it was okay to use a non-cast iron skillet. I was wondering if that would be okay or not._

 ** _A_Wonder_Wall34:_** _@Flowerpowergirl,_ _I wondered the same thing_

 **_BarbellsandBabes:_ ** _can you read, loser_

Well, that was annoying. Zoro tried to resist the urge to reply to these idiots but he couldn’t help it. Most of the people sounded pompous about the meat he used so he thought he would add fuel to the fire by telling them some more things he did differently from the instructions.

**_GreenIsGood:_ ** _Yup. Didn’t even use garlic cloves, either. Just some mushy stuff in a jar that I found in the fridge._

Zoro laughed to himself. Bet that will get a good reaction out of them. Almost immediately more comments replied but there was one he wasn’t expecting. It was the author of the video.

**_AllBlue_Eyes:_ ** _Jesus Christ, you don’t have garlic cloves on hand? Let me guess, you also used dried thyme leaves instead of sprigs, didn’t you?_

That was irritating. Not only was this guy as rude as he was in his videos, but...he was also _right_. It made Zoro laugh. This was just too perfect.

**_GreenIsGood:_ ** _@AllBlue_Eyes, omg, you’re so good! And I didn’t have the fancy “quality flaky finishing salt,” either. I used - GASP - table salt! O0o0o0o0o0o0o, scary!_

Zoro was disappointed the author didn’t reply but he definitely got twenty more comments over the rest of the week. Shitty bastard with his shitty fanbase.

___

Anyone who knew Zoro at all would know that fancy cooking was _not_ his thing. It was stupid and a waste of time. If the food you made tasted fine, what was the point in going that extra step - or in AllBlue_Eyes’ case, the extra bazillion steps? There wasn’t a point. 

But. That didn’t mean Zoro didn’t watch ten or twelve of AllBlue_Eyes’ previous videos. The guy was funny when he explained things, even if he used pretentious ingredients sometimes. Zoro picked up that the guy posted every Saturday and he couldn’t help but feel a little excited to see what he’d post today as a new recipe.

A few hours later as Zoro was scrolling through Facebook, he passed by the new video, posted twenty-five minutes ago. Zoro looked at the time and guessed he uploaded around 1:00 pm. He didn’t even bother watching the video over Facebook first and went straight to switching to Youtube and read the ingredients list. With the title of _Bourbon BBQ Sauce for Idiots,_ Zoro was already interested. Booze in a sauce sounded amazing.

As he was reading through he felt a little disappointed. This time, he didn’t have everything on hand as he did for the ribeye recipe. This called for honey, molasses, mustard powder, a cinnamon stick, and whatever the hell a ‘star anise’ was. Zoro sighed.

“Whatcha watchin?” Luffy asked, hanging over the arm of the couch next to Zoro’s head. “Oh, is it that guy again?” He saw the familiar blue avatar he’d come accustomed to over the week of Zoro watching the guy’s tutorials.

“Yeah, he just posted this one. I wanted to try it but we don’t have a lot of what it’s asking for.”

“So?” Luffy said and rested his chin on top of green hair. “Let’s go get some stuff, then.”

Zoro sat up and turned around to face his roommate. “For one recipe? That sounds like a lot of work. Plus, we’d need something to put it on, it’s only a barbecue sauce.”

That perked the younger man up. “Barbecue? Like for meat? What are we waiting for, let’s go shopping!” Luffy was overly excited, as always, and jumped the side of the couch to tackle Zoro. The two wrestled with each other, falling to the floor and they went all out until Zoro got a knee to the crotch.

 _“Fuck,”_ he wheezed. Luffy laughed.

___

[ ](https://www.filson.com/blog/food/filson-food-texas-style-bourbon-bbq-sauce/)

_“‘Sup Shit-heads,”_ AllBlue_Eyes started, just as he did every other video. Zoro smirked. _“Today is all about the sauce. Hopefully, you have some meat to glaze this over. I have a full rack of ribs here that I’ll be using my sauce on later.”_

“Ooh, that’s what we got, that’s what we got!” Luffy said behind Zoro’s shoulder as the two listened to the steps. 

Zoro rolled his eyes. “That’s why I grabbed it, you idiot. I listened to the video first while I was getting dressed.”

“You’re smart, Zoro.”

_“...and add them to a small saucepan. Don’t be stupid by using one too wide because the sauce will run flat which will cause it to scorch. You want the smaller pan so the liquid is thicker and deeper.”_

“Why’d you stop the video?” Luffy asked, looking up to his friend.

Zoro swallowed. This was another reason he had become so interested in the guy’s videos, even if he never made anything he was being taught. He watched them because they were always funny... but also because this guy had a _seriously_ sexy voice. The way he said things had Zoro shuddering sometimes and trying to deal with words like ‘thicker’ and ‘deeper’ in that velvety baritone voice was going to kill him. His hands alone were enough to make Zoro trip up. In a previous video, AllBlue_Eyes has been rubbing spices over a fat hunk of meat, which wasn’t anything to get hot over, until the guy thought it would be funny to give it a _slap_ for good measure and Zoro almost broke his phone from squeezing it too hard. It was then Zoro noticed the man had a small heart tattoo on his ring finger. “Just seeing if you’re paying attention,” Zoro muttered and unpaused the video.

The sauce was _delicious_ but the guy didn’t have any videos at all about how to cook ribs. Zoro had grilled some himself before but he was hoping to see what this guy had to say about that, too. Either way, he and Luffy had a feast on Saturday.

After he ate and cleaned up the kitchen, he left a comment.

 **_GreenIsGood:_ ** _This turned out better than I could have hoped. I learned what star anise was, too. Prolly should make some video about ribs next time, tho._

___

It wasn’t until the following Wednesday that Zoro received any reply to his comment. He was surprised it took so long seeing as how last time he had people jumping down his throat about every damn thing.

**_BarbellsandBabes:_ ** _loser_

Zoro’s eye twitched. _Who the fuck is this guy?_ When Zoro was bored and scrolled through the comments on the different AllBlue_Eyes videos, this guy was everywhere on there and he never had anything nice to say at all. Zoro would fucking deck the person if he ever met them. While Zoro was distracted with daydreams of killing a made-up man in his head, he received a new comment.

**_AllBlue_Eyes:_ ** _Just search for it in my videos, you idiot._

Doesn’t he know that Zoro already did that? Wouldn’t that have been the obvious thing to do? Zoro knew he was a meathead but he wasn’t _that_ stupid. 

**_GreenIsGood:_ ** _I already did, you fucking asswipe. I had to grill my ribs without your Almighty Directions._

Once hitting ‘post,’ Zoro thought it was a little mean to call him a name but this guy was so fucking annoying. His ingredients and shitty attitude were one thing, but his comments weren’t any better. If the recipes didn’t prove to be amazing, Zoro would have harassed him enough to delete his channel because he got under his skin _that fucking_ _much_ with all his gloating. Zoro decided if he ever met _this guy_ that he’d fucking deck him, too.

**_AllBlue_Eyes:_ ** _Wow, you’re right. I just checked. Guess I will have to rethink my next week’s video. Thanks._

That was not the reply Zoro was expecting. 

___

Over the next few weeks, Zoro found himself making a lot more dinners that were suggested by AllBlue_Eyes. He went through the backlog of videos, listing them off to Luffy to see what he wanted, and then if they had the ingredients on hand, he’d make it for them. 

Zoro also found himself shopping for more niche ingredients more often. He kept cinnamon sticks, star anise, and molasses on hand so he could whip up a batch of that Bourbon BBQ sauce whenever they needed it. Luffy never complained and Zoro found that he liked cooking good stuff. He felt proud of himself when the meal turned out well.

Everything Zoro made, he was sure to comment on the video to let him know how the experiment went. It was embarrassing because he was never really the type of person to get into social media. Though, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t excited to see the author of the video reply to his comments. _Maaaybe_ he said something rude on purpose to rile him up so he would comment some more, who knows. What he _did_ know was he was glad he stumbled across AllBlue_Eyes’ video a month or so ago. 

___

“What’s the video this week?” Luffy asked Zoro one Saturday morning. 

Zoro looked up from his bowl of cereal to his roommate and shrugged. “It ain’t time yet so I dunno.” He wondered when he had become so predictable that his clueless roommate knew what to expect of him now.

The two finished their breakfast with light conversation. Zoro worked out a bit, took his shower, and checked the time. It was only noon.

 _God, when did my fucking life revolve around Youtube?_ He asked himself. He had even _subscribed_ to this person so he could get notifications for new videos, even though Zoro waited for them weekly like he was doing right now. 

[ ](https://www.filson.com/blog/food/west-coast-seafood-chowder-recipe/)

_“‘Sup, Shit-heads. Today I’ve got a treat! At least for myself since no one else will eat it but me,”_ AllBlue_Eyes started. The milky white hands Zoro knew all too well flopped a few fish down on a clean counter and started expertly slicing into the belly to get the show started. _“I’m making a west coast seafood chowder. I went out fishing for these fuckin things just for you guys.”_

Zoro looked at the title of the video only just now realizing it was for a chowder. He had been so excited to hear AllBlue_Eyes’ snarky humor that he completely bypassed what the video was going to be about. He was surprised to learn the man was on the west coast where he lived as well. 

After watching the video fully and laughing at the stupid things AllBlue_Eyes said, Zoro checked the ingredients list and saw it was quite extensive and would be expensive to recreate. He decided against making this dish even though he was drooling over the end result. This guy was good.

___

Zoro had been graduated for a few weeks now so he found his life to be more boring than usual. There weren’t any classes or homework or this or that to spend any time on and he didn’t have a job yet so...what to do?

Deciding to be nice and surprise Luffy with a nice meal on a Tuesday, Zoro headed to the local farmers market. Before AllBlue_Eyes’ videos, he had never even known his area had a market with fresh shit in it. He’s always gone to the supercenter down the street. But now, more often than not, Zoro wound up here to grab shit for the guy’s stupid recipes. 

The store wasn’t busy as it was only 11:00 am during the week. Zoro thumbed through the ingredients list of that chowder he wanted to try and after getting just about everything he knew he didn’t have back at the apartment, he strolled up to the butcher’s counter to grab the last few things.

There were a few people there before him so he looked through the glass at the fish. _It says Cod and Halibut and this shit called clam nectar?_ “What the fuck is clam nectar?” he said aloud. He had never heard of it before and if he were being honest with himself, it sounded fucking nasty.

“It’s the juice that is extracted while steaming clams,” came a deep voice beside him.

“Thanks,” he muttered to his phone. _If it’s a liquid, does that mean…_ “Can I buy it in a can?” Zoro asked, turning to the man who had spoken to him. Gaze landing on the voice’s owner, Zoro was awestruck by a blonde as tall as himself, completely sucked into his one visible eye, the other hidden beneath golden bangs. It was the deepest blue Zoro had ever seen and he couldn’t look away.

The blonde scoffed. “Disgusting. Just buy the clams here and make it yourself, idiot,” he said and gestured to the counter in front of them.

Hearing that remark jolted Zoro from his daze. The sound of the voice paired with that insult sounded familiar. “I-I’m sorry, what did you just say?” 

The man turned and jutted a hip out to plant a hand over it. “I _said_ just buy the fucking clams and make it your damn self. It isn’t that hard to do.”

If this were a regular situation, Zoro would have swung his fist right into the man’s pretty face, but instead, he found himself dropping his stare to the left hand that gripped his hip. _No fucking way,_ Zoro thought as he recognized the little heart tattoo over his ring finger. Everything started to piece together. The deep voice, the crude language, the milky white skin tone, the tattoo - all of it matched. “You’re...you’re…?”

“Wasting my time by talking to a neanderthal like you? Yeah, I am,” he snapped and faced the counter as it was his turn in line.

 _Holy shit this guy is AllBlue_Eyes! He’s gorgeous! The voice was only a sliver of what he had to offer._ Zoro took the next few minutes to stare at the back of the man’s slender, but muscular, physique. His ass looked amazing in those tight, black slacks and his shoulders were neatly framed in a light blue button-up. It startled him when the blonde suddenly rounded on him.

“What the fuck are you staring at, moss-head?”

 _Aw, shit. This guy is amazing._ Zoro laughed at the nickname that he was sure was supposed to be an insult. The guy rolled his eyes after taking his brown package of meat and turned to leave.

“Wait!” Zoro heard himself say. The blonde stopped but didn’t face him. “All blue eyes.”

The man whipped around and stomped into Zoro’s face. “What the fuck did you just say?” he hissed through gritted teeth. Zoro felt smug when a hand snatched his wrist to pull him into an aisle away from the butcher’s counter. “Who are you?”

Zoro raked his fingers through his hair and smirked. “Just a fellow fan, is all.” The man was _livid_ that he was found out and Zoro knew it. It was clear the man only showed his hands in the videos to keep his identity anonymous. _God, what type of fan base would this guy have if people knew what he looked like?! He’d have pussy to the ceiling, that’s for sure,_ Zoro thought.

The blonde looked Zoro up and down and glared at his hair before returning to look into Zoro’s amused grey eyes. “What’s your username?” he asked.

“Ouch, that hurts,” Zoro joked. “I thought we had enough of a friendly rivalry going on between us that you’d at least be able to have a _clue_ to who I might be.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I have thousands of followers and hundreds of comments,” the other spat at him. 

Zoro couldn’t help but laugh again. This guy was just as sassy in real life as he was in his videos. Nothing about his YouTube persona was fake. “You take a lot of time to personally argue with me. Thought I was special.” Zoro faked a pout, which brought on a very sour scowl from the other. Zoro tightened his lips to hold back a fit of laughter that threatened to burst out.

“Annoying,” the man said and brushed past Zoro to leave their conversation behind.

Zoro sighed. He couldn’t believe he was going this far for someone who he didn’t know played for the same team as him. But the guy was gorgeous from head to toe and was skilled in the kitchen, not to mention his crass personality that never failed to put a smile on Zoro’s face. He had to try. “Green is good.”

Halfway down the aisle, the man faltered in his step when he heard the answer to his question. He gave a half-turn and said, “Meet me in the alley when you’re done here,” and left to the cashiers at the front of the store.

___

Once Zoro got the things he needed (yes, he grabbed the clams like the damn blonde said to) and paid, he left the market and rounded the corner to the alley between the two buildings. There the blonde stood leaning against the wall with a cigarette between his lips while he browsed through his phone, the grocery bag at his feet. 

“Yo,” Zoro said as he walked up to the man. It took less than a second for the guy to pocket his cell and launch a roundhouse kick towards Zoro’s head. “Shit!” Zoro yipped as he jumped backward. “Didn’t think I came over here to get jumped!”

“Shitty green bastard!” The blonde said around his cigarette. “You’re so fucking annoying to deal with!”

Zoro set his two bags of things against the opposite wall and squared up with AllBlue_Eyes. “You wanna fight? I’ll drop you right here, pretty boy.” The blonde went ridged at the name and if _that_ sight didn’t excite Zoro. “You ain’t gotta reply to me but ya do, so it’s not my fault. As you said, there are hundreds of comments...but you reply to me.” AllBlue_Eyes growled as he spun around with an extended leg aimed perfectly for Zoro’s ribs. Zoro loved the look of shock the man had plastered across his face when Zoro easily caught him by the ankle. “Got ya,” he taunted.

The blonde smiled and Zoro’s stomach did a backflip which distracted him enough when the man flipped his body enough to kick Zoro with his _other_ leg - right in the side of his head. Zoro dropped to his hip with a hand over his ear. When he pulled his hand away he saw blood.

 _“Got ya,”_ the man repeated, smoke leaving his mouth as he smiled. He grabbed his things and made to leave Zoro dumbfounded in the alleyway on his backside. 

“Wait!” Zoro called again, scurrying to his feet.

“Jesus, are you fucking obsessed with me? Are you one of those freaky stalkers?!” AllBlue-Eyes shrieked, backing away from Zoro walking towards him. He held his hands out as if to warn Zoro away.

“No! Fuck, no. I just -” _I just what? Think you’re gorgeous and probably just fell in love with you because you can kick my ass? Oh my god, I am a stalker._ “I just...can I…?” Zoro couldn’t say it. He knew he had to say something fast because the guy was clearly creeped out by Zoro fumbling over his words and staring at him like a dope. “Fuck it,” he muttered and stood tall. If he was going to get rejected he was going to go down like a man. “Can I buy you a drink?”

The blonde sputtered for a moment before he could manage a coherent sentence out. “I-I just lay you out and you want to get me a drink? You’re bleeding.”

 _That’s partially why, yes._ “Zoro.”

“What?”

“It’s my name. Zoro,” he said and stuck his hand out, the one _not_ covered in blood, for the other to take. The blonde looked down at it hesitantly as if he would catch a moss-related disease by touch. The grimace on his face slowly melted away as he extended his hand and took Zoro’s into a firm handshake. Both men could feel the callouses the other wore.

“Sanji.”

On the walk back to his apartment, Zoro went completely unaware of the stares he was receiving about the blood running down the side of his neck. All he could think about was how electrifying that five minutes had been between them in the alleyway. This guy was like the complete package and Zoro was ready to do whatever it took to win him over. He had to calm himself lest he gets a hard-on in public thinking about what the guy tasted like or how soft his lips were.

Zoro felt like his phone was going to burn a hole in his pocket by having Sanji’s number stored inside. 

___

Playing it safe to not creep Sanji out any further than he may already have, Zoro did not text him on Tuesday. In fact, he waited until after 1:00 pm on the following Saturday to text him. This week’s video was about brisket. Zoro watched it first before texting Sanji.

**_Me:_ ** _Yo. It’s Zoro. The guy you made bleed cause you can’t handle comments on the internet._

Ten minutes passed and Sanji replied. Zoro smirked at the message.

**_Sanji:_ ** _Ugh. I was hoping you’d forgotten and died or something._

 **_Me:_ ** _Not a chance._

 **_Me:_ ** _How about that drink? Busy tonight?_

Zoro didn’t receive a reply. He tried to hide the disappointment from rejection, but how could he not? It didn’t make sense because the guy had given him his number and he also answered his text after knowing it was him so...what gives?

It wasn’t until an hour later did he get an answer. 

**_Sanji:_ ** _Maybe I’m busy._

This fucking guy! Zoro squeezed his phone pretending it was the man’s neck.

**_Me:_ ** _Yeah, with me. Where do you want to go?_

This time the reply was instant.

 **_Sanji:_ ** _Ugh._

Zoro audibly laughed.

“What is it?” Luffy asked, leaning his head back against Zoro’s side. He sat on the floor in front of the couch where Zoro lounged. An explosion went off on the TV. “Another cooking video?”

Zoro jumped. He had forgotten Luffy was right next to him. “No. Just talking to someone.”

That wasn’t what he should have said because now Luffy paused the show he was watching and faced him. “You don’t have any friends but me.”

Zoro felt his phone vibrate in his hand and his stomach lurched from the anxiety. He wanted to check the message but he had to deal with Luffy first. “Uh, I know. I met someone at the market. Asked for their number.”

“Hahhhh? You don’t ever talk to anyone and you got someone’s _number?”_ Luffy hit Zoro in the stomach. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Clutching his side, Zoro winced. “This is my first time talking to him, dammit!” Another message went through. “Can I at least talk to him first before you’re up my ass?”

Luffy pouted. “Fine,” he mumbled and went back to his show. 

Zoro stood and went into his room before reading what Sanji said.

**_Sanji:_ ** _Yeah, sure, whatever._

 **_Sanji:_ ** _Let’s meet at The Green Bit at 9_

 **_Me:_ ** _Never been there before. See you then._

Zoro wanted to throw up. This type of thing wasn’t his scene so he was completely out of his element when he sifted through his closet for something to wear. He quickly Googled ‘The Green Bit bar’ and studied the photos people took there. It looked as though it wasn’t a high-class place but it also wouldn’t do with his usual t-shirt and jeans sort of look. 

_Fuck, I don’t have a lot of fancy clothes,_ Zoro thought, tossing the only pair of nice pants he had on his bed. Hanging on the furthest part of the rack deep in the closet, Zoro pulled two dress-shirts out. They were both black. Great. _Wait, they’re different,_ he thought and saw one of the shirts had a very light, iridescent paisley pattern on it. At first glance, it looked like a plain, black shirt but in reality, the pattern was subtle enough to make it pop. He chose that one.

___

Zoro thought he was sneaky by arriving early, but Sanji had had the same idea as him. The blonde was leaning over the bar with one knee on his stool making his ass look _delicious._ Zoro shook his head to rid the dangerous thoughts away. It was too damn early to be thinking like that. 

When Zoro walked closer he saw that Sanji wore a deep blue button-up with very small white, polka dots littering across it, a black vest snuggly wrapped around him. He looked sharp.

“Hey,” Zoro said, coming up on his left and leaned on the counter with his elbows. Sanji looked him up and down and after accepting his attire he gave a scoff through his nose. “Do I pass?” he asked.

“Yeah, whatever. You clean up nice.”

Only because he had a woman help him did Zoro clean up nice. Zoro had the first four buttons of his tucked shirt undone, long sleeves rolled to just below his elbows. Nami had put a little product in his hair and told him to shine his earrings because they looked filthy. She also sprayed him with one of her less feminine perfumes. The shoes he wore were from one of Luffy’s friends, the only friend he could match in shoe size. At least the belt was his. “I know,” Zoro said smugly. Before Sanji could retort, he flagged for the bartender. “What you want to drink? Don’t be shy.”

Sanji’s lip curled but when the woman behind the bar approached, he dropped it. “Dry martini and two shots of your top shelf silver tequila.”

Zoro’s eyebrow went up. “The second shot for me or are they both for you?”

“They’re both for me if you waste my time.”

With a chuckle, Zoro nodded and said he’d take a whiskey and coke. They received their drinks and took the shots together. Sanji took a sip of his martini.

“So what did you need the clam nectar for?” Sanji asked.

Slightly embarrassed now that he was being asked, Zoro gulped half his drink in one go. He was way too sober and his nerves were getting the better of him. The blonde looked too calm about all of this and it made his anxiety worse. “Uh, I was trying that chowder you posted a few weeks back,” he said meekly. His face burned.

“Oh, really?!” Sanji’s mood instantly changed. His glassy, blue eyes almost lit the entire room up. “How did it turn out? I don’t remember you commenting on the video?”

“Cause I didn’t,” Zoro said flatly. “It went horribly. Cut myself on the edges of the mussels and ruined about half of them with blood.”

Sanji frowned for a second but then it was gone. He turned his body to fully face Zoro, one arm on the bar top holding his drink. “Well you still had some left, how could that have spoiled the whole meal?”

Zoro sighed. “That’s cause the nightmare didn’t stop there. Once everything was in the pot cooking, I tripped over my roommate and my hand grabbed at the first thing it could - the handle of the pot. Went _everywhere,”_ Zoro finished with a groan as he remembered the mess.

For a moment, Sanji was quiet, then he burst into laughter. “Wow, that’s amazing that I caused all of that!”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. The kitchen _still_ smells like the ocean,” Zoro said into his cup, tipping the rest back. “You want another one of those or...?” he asked when he saw Sanji’s martini was almost gone. Those things were expensive for such little alcohol they gave. 

Sanji’s laugh died down as he contemplated, swishing the liquid around the triangular glass. “Yeah, just one more. But I want something else.”

“Get whatever you want, it’s on me.” Zoro nodded for the bartender and when she approached, he asked for two more shots and another whiskey and coke. “And whatever he’s getting.”

The woman came back and Zoro grabbed all four drinks. “Let’s go sit down,” he suggested and made for an open booth. Once they were comfortable, he saw that Sanji was eyeing the shots suspiciously. “If you don’t want it, I’ll happily drink both.”

“Trying to get me back to your place tonight?” Sanji asked. Zoro laughed and said something about having a roommate to ruin the fun but Sanji wasn’t smiling.

“Oh, you’re serious. Sorry.” Zoro scratched the back of his head while he tried thinking of the right way to say this. “I, uh, don’t really do this very often so I’m...rusty. I’m up for whatever, honestly.” When he returned his gaze to Sanji, the blonde was looking at the shot glasses and rubbing the breast pocket of his shirt under the vest. “Look, you really don’t have to take it, I got it just in case. Here,” he said and slammed the first shot and made for the next but Sanji stopped him. 

“Nah, I’ll take it. I was just wondering what your intentions were.” Sanji threw the shot back when Zoro released it. “I don’t do this very often, either.”

Zoro cocked his head. “Why were you so easy to get here, then?” Sanji made an offended face. “I -that’s not how I meant it. I only meant, if you don’t do this often, what made you give me your number?” 

Sanji sat back in the booth and rubbed a palm into the one visible eye. Zoro watched as a smile broke out across his face, a laugh bubbling up. “I had split the cartilage in your ear open and you didn’t even look _mad_ about it. You had a fucking _smile_ on your face, for crying out loud.” Zoro’s face was burning again. He ducked his head down to hide his embarrassment. “I thought, ‘why the hell not. I’ll kick his ass if he sucks’ and well, here we are.”

“You couldn’t _really_ kick my ass, you know,” Zoro growled. “You’re like a twig compared to me.”

“Hah?! Excuse me, it was _you_ who had their ass handed to them, shit-head!”

“Yeah, I wasn’t gonna knock you out in an alleyway. You think I wanna spend the night in jail?” Zoro said, waving his hand around. “Plus, I was in utter shock that a babe like you could move like that!”

Sanji’s mouth snapped shut. “...babe?” he asked, suddenly shy.

Zoro regretted saying it, but there was no going back now. “Well, yeah...you’re attractive, obviously,” he muttered and looked across the bar at whatever wasn’t Sanji.

The blonde stirred the straw around in his mojito causing the mint leaves to go crazy. “Yeah, whatever.”

Quirking an eyebrow at the other, Zoro didn’t let it slide that Sanji didn’t believe him. The night had been going well enough so far that he didn’t want to fuck it up. Sanji was here giving him a chance. Zoro mustered up what little courage he had and switched to Sanji’s side of the table. 

When Zoro scooted in deeper pushing the blonde closer to the wall, that cool aura of his that he seemed to have been oozing the whole night quickly disappeared and left him completely vulnerable. “W-what are you doing, asshole?!” Sanji asked, backing away.

Zoro reached across the table for his drink and took a gulp before answering. “I like you. I like your sailor’s mouth and I like that you can fight a man twice your size. It’s hot.”

Sanji had his back against the wall. His one blue eye searched Zoro for some sort of trick, and after concluding that he was being serious, he relaxed a little more. “Yeah, alright,” he finally said quietly and took a swig of his drink. 

The two talked for another hour as the previous tension had been erased. It was mostly Sanji talking about his YouTube stuff and how he started, but sometimes he would stop, almost in the middle of his sentence, and ask Zoro something so he was also involved in the conversation. They laughed at each other’s jokes and after a while, they hadn’t realized their drinks were long gone, too preoccupied with the other to care. 

Zoro had left the booth and come back with two glasses of water. “So, is it safe to say this is a date, then?” he asked the blonde. Sanji’s hand began rubbing against his shirt pocket again. Zoro assessed it must be a tick of some sort. Remembering the image of him smoking a cigarette in the alleyway, Zoro figured that’s where the pack must be hiding. “Do you need a smoke?” Zoro asked, sliding the cup towards him and sat down.

“Yeah,” Sanji said quietly. “I’ll just be a minute.” 

“I’ll come with,” Zoro said with a smile. Sanji frowned at him. “If...that’s okay?”

“You don’t have to, but if you want,” Sanji said. Zoro moved to let him up but he sat there chugging his water until it was gone.

While Sanji was on his way out, Zoro threw back his water and left to settle his bill. When he made it outside, Sanji was standing against the building, one foot propped on the brick wall, with a cigarette in his mouth. Zoro approached and stood in front of him blocking the street lamp from shining in his eyes. Sanji plucked the cigarette from his lips and turned his head to blow the smoke away.

Zoro waited patiently until the cigarette was at least halfway down before he closed the distance between them. He put his hands on Sanji’s slim waist and captured his lips, swallowing the leftover smoke Sanji didn’t get a chance to breathe out.

After sliding his tongue over Sanji’s bottom lip, Zoro backed away to see if kissing him was okay. Honestly, he didn’t even plan to get this far with the guy, it’s just he was so perfect in every way that Zoro couldn’t stop himself. Sanji held his stare while bringing his cigarette back to his lips for another drag. The cigarette was smoked completely and tossed to the bin a few feet away before the blonde finally spoke.

“My place?”


	2. Sanji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji stumbles upon an annoying YouTube commenter who gets under his skin more than he should let him. He never imagined the man would be from the same town as him! And he's sexy as hell???? Why are all the idiots the attractive ones?

Exhausted from school, Sanji flopped into his computer chair and leaned his head over the back to stare at the ceiling of his studio room. He’d be graduating college in a few months and he didn’t even have the slightest clue of what the hell he was going to do after that - at least with the degree he’d be getting. He majored in Marketing and Business because he  _ had  _ to, but his real passion was  _ cooking _ and  _ baking _ and  _ grilling _ and  _ serving _ and just making people  _ happy _ with  _ food. _

Giving a long sigh, Sanji blew a piece of hair out of his face before leaning over to press the power button on the computer tower. It was time to check out the stats and comments from his most recent video like he did every Wednesday.

“Few new subscribers...whoa, more watches than last week’s, too, holy shit!” Sanji said as he compared the two videos. He clicked the video titled  _ Cast Iron Steak For Idiots  _ and scanned over to see if anything jumped out at him. Most were of people gushing how delicious the end result looked, as always.  _ Duh, of course it looks delicious, I made it,  _ Sanji thought with a smirk curled on his face.

**_C0tt0nCandyL0ver:_ ** _ what if u don’t have a cast-iron skillt? Will it still be ok? _

**_SecretAgentMan222:_ ** _ I want to eat my screen! Nomnomnom! _

**_sydneyxface:_ ** _ Definitely worth the watch. Thanks for posting! _

**_FreshThymeAllTheThyme:_ ** _ Wow, always impressed with your skills. Look amazing, btw. Good job! _

**_BarbellsandBabes:_ ** _ Prolly tastes liek shit cuz you suck _

Sanji rolled his eyes at that one. Same fucking guy on every fucking video. Asshole. Ignoring the hate, he continued scanning and liking a few comments at random to keep his followers happy. Seeing a lengthy one, he stopped to read it.

**_Sniper_OneShot:_ ** _ Looks good! Thanks for taking the time to explain in detail how to use a cast iron pan. I’ve always been intimidated by it because of the special coating thingy you have to do. Maybe you should make a video about that! _

Sitting back in his chair, Sanji smiled.  _ That’s a good idea,  _ he thought. He hit reply.

**_AllBlue_Eyes:_ ** _ That makes total sense, thank you! I’ll add it to my list! _

“I love it when I get free suggestions for my next vids,” Sanji said to himself. Under his desk, the blonde felt his calico cat rub up against his leg. “Hi, Honey,” Sanji cooed and picked her up to sit on his lap. He dug his nails into her backside, scruffing right above her tail as she loved oh-so-much. When Honey jumped down, he went back to reading. A comment with ninety replies struck his curiosity.

It was a plain comment. Not funny or witty, didn’t have a sick burn or anything professional to say. It read, ‘ _ Tried it with tenderloin and it worked out pretty much the same. No cast-iron skillet, though.’  _ and that was it. Wondering what all the fuss was about, Sanji expanded the replies and read through them.

**_ChefLife4Life:_ ** _ it said to use ribeye, tho _

**_xxblackhawkupxx:_ ** _ wowowowow can’t even follow directions????? Can’t read, can you? _

**_Flowerpowergirl:_ ** _ Oh, thank you for letting us know it was okay to use a non-cast iron skillet. I was wondering if that would be okay or not. _

**_A_Wonder_Wall34:_** _@Flowerpowergirl,_ _I wondered the same thing_

**_BarbellsandBabes:_ ** _ can you read, loser _

**_myninjaway:_ ** _ wow thanks for telling us you didn’t follow directions _

**_I_Love_My_Doggydog:_ ** _ The video is literally about one thing: cooking a steak cut in a cast-iron pan. But you did both of those wrong. What’s the point in even watching the video? _

**_FreshThymeAllTheThyme:_ ** _ Seriously? No cast-iron and a tenderloin cut? _

**_GreenIsGood:_ ** _ Yup. Didn’t even use garlic cloves, either. Just some mushy stuff in a jar that I found in the fridge. _

**_FreshThymeAllTheThyme:_ ** _ that’s totally a sin! Always use fresh garlic! _

**_Xxblackhawkupxx:_ ** _ OMG YUCCKKKK, BRO! _

**_BarnellsandBabes:_ ** _ idiot _

**_ChefLife4Life:_ ** _ Are you insulting AllBlue_Eyes or something?! _

Sanji stopped reading. This GreenisGood person used  _ jarred garlic?!  _ Sanji visibly gagged at the thought of sticking a spoon inside the jar, the waft of preserved, minced garlic making him feel dizzy as it flowed past his nostrils, the sight of the spoon disappearing into the chunky stink-mess...  _ Blagh! I understand people use that shit to cook all the time, but just  _ knowing  _ it was used makes my skin crawl! Fuckin nasty bastard seems proud of it.  _ “Probably wasn’t the only thing they substituted, too.”

**_AllBlue_Eyes:_ ** _ Jesus Christ, you don’t have garlic cloves on hand? Let me guess, you also used dried thyme leaves instead of sprigs, didn’t you? _

Hitting ‘reply’ with a satisfied little dance made Sanji feel better to knock this person down a peg or two. There were so many different types of people in the world, but at the same time, so very few. This person, Sanji could tell already, didn’t give a shit about what they ate, as long as it was edible. Right before his eyes, a comment appeared tagging him in it.

**_GreenIsGood:_ ** _ @AllBlue_Eyes, omg, you’re so good! And I didn’t have the fancy “quality flaky finishing salt,” either. I used - GASP - table salt! O0o0o0o0o0o0o, scary! _

Sanji got up from his desk to get a drink. He needed a break after that reply. He knew the person was just trying to rile him up, which was working, and he shouldn’t let one measly comment on the internet bother him, but dammit, how gross!  _ Now I have to know some people out there followed my video and used garlic from a jar!  _

After calming his nerves, he ignored the shit out of that comment and went about reading the rest of what people had to say.

___

That little scenario from Wednesday stuck in Sanji’s mind, burning the username  _ GreenIsGood  _ into the back of his eyelids. So when the person commented on some of his older videos over the next few days, they stuck out like a sore thumb, always there to remind him of the garlic. The fucking garlic from a jar.

Not only was that YouTuber bugging him over the internet, but even while writing one of his finals that particular comment came back to haunt him. The greasy dude with long, stringy hair who sat down next to him  _ reeked  _ of garlic and onions, his odor so powerful Sanji could feel his eyes watering. To keep his mind on his exam rather than throwing up everything he ate that morning, he had to pull his shirt over his nose. Stupid garlic people.

But that was yesterday and who cares now. What mattered was this  _ new  _ video Sanji knew his subscribers would love. They had been asking him for a while now to make a sauce and since he bought a rack of ribs Tuesday night, he thought making a thick barbecue sauce would be perfect for it.

Sanji finished up on editing his new video titled  _ Bourbon BBQ Sauce for Idiots _ , the render finally closing out. Opening his browser and jumping to YouTube, he started the uploading process and filled out the information while it loaded. As he waited, he checked off a few things from his notes and lists, added a few more ideas, and doodled a cake design he’d been thinking about since that new show on Netflix popped up.  _ I should sign up to go on one of those shows...I specialize in all categories, it’d be easy to adapt to whatever they threw at me.  _ He came out of his thoughts once the video became public.

“Nice! Now for those ribs…” Sanji said to himself and got to his feet to start his grill up.

___

The barbecue sauce video didn’t get as many hits as his  _ Cast Iron Steak For Idiots _ video, but sifting through the comments showed Sanji the feedback was just as positive and even more enthusiastic. He smiled to himself with a small puff of his chest. It felt good to receive praise.

Although Sanji was happy enough with what everyone else had to say over the four days the video had been posted, he had a feeling that damn GreenIsGood username, or GreenGarlic as he had been calling him in his head, was going to show up somewhere. Sure enough, there it was.

**_GreenIsGood:_ ** _ This turned out better than I could have hoped. I learned what star anise was, too. Prolly should make some video about ribs next time, tho. _

Sanji scoffed. Doesn’t this person know he already had plenty of videos on all types of meat? He had been doing this channel for a little over two years now! He had over a hundred videos that ranged from very basic dinners to something a little more unique to keep his viewers interested and to try new things. All this person had to do was click the search bar and type in ‘ribs’ and he’d have been able to find exactly what he wanted. 

**_AllBlue_Eyes:_ ** _ Just search for it in my videos, you idiot. _

Sanji had to admit he was happy to see the person learned something new and did enjoy the recipe, though. As much as it annoyed him they were too stupid to properly use YouTube, it still gave him that satisfying feeling he gave one more person in the world a good meal.

At his feet, Honey rubbed against his leg. “Oh, hey there little lady,” Sanji said quietly, looking over the arm of his computer chair. He watched her circle him a few times before she propped her front legs over his thigh, asking to be picked up. “You want to read the comments, too, huh? See what they’re saying about daddy’s sauce?” Honey purred in return and the blonde took that as a yes. 

Together in the quiet office room, the two of them read on, replying when necessary. It only took a few minutes for a notification to pop up from GreenIsGood. Sanji’s curly eyebrow twitched in anticipation. 

**_GreenIsGood:_ ** _ I already did, you fucking asswipe. I had to grill my ribs without your Almighty Directions.  _

_ “What?!”  _ Sanji spat, causing Honey to jump from his lap. He quickly apologized to her as he scooted closer to the screen to read the comment again as if it would change if he stared hard enough.  _ What the fuck are they talking about? I have at  _ least _ one video on ribs! _

Sanji thought he’d be a smartass and link the video right to the comment after simply typing in the word ‘ribs’ in the search bar. So easy, even a neanderthal could do it!

**_This channel has no content that matched "ribs."_ **

_ “What?!”  _ Sanji said again. “How are there no matches?!” He was beginning to get irritated with the website and GreenGarlic for not cooperating with him properly. As if he would skip over such popular meat! There had to be a video, right?!  _ I swear I did one last summer after I went to that charity barbecue. I remember because I loved the smoky aftertaste and -  _ Sanji cut himself off mid-thought when he remembered the rest of that memory.

_ Oh, shit! That’s right, I had planned on making a video but the market was fresh out that week. They hadn’t had beef or pork ribs for two weeks straight and I ended up skipping it to keep my regular schedule… _

Taking a deep breath, Sanji knew he had to reply. He made a mistake and he had to own up to it. 

**_AllBlue_Eyes:_ ** _ Wow, you’re right. I just checked. Guess I will have to rethink my next week’s video. Thanks. _

___

Over the next month, Sanji decided the GreenIsGood person was pretty irritating. Each week after he posted his new video, Greeny was sure to comment. This alone wasn’t the irritating part, no, it was what he  _ said  _ that made Sanji’s jaw clench together hard enough he could hear his teeth creaking.

GreenIsGood always said something positive about the recipe. Whether it be how well their version turned out, how good it tasted, or that one of the substitutions Sanji listed on the ingredient’s list worked just fine, too. That part Sanji was fine with. But the motherfucker always had to add something at the  _ end  _ that totally got under his skin more than it should have. It’s not like he wasn’t used to people saying shitty things to him, BarbellsandBabes was a regular when it came to wasting his time with their dumbassery. For some reason, after that intro with the minced garlic, Sanji couldn’t let this person slide.

The dickheaded comments consisted of things like,  _ ‘I liked the smell when it was simmering, me and my roommate were drooling. Guess you’re not a shitty cook,’ _ or  _ ‘I could have eaten this for a week straight. Your snort at  _ 5:47 _ made you sound like a dork.’  _

Sanji decided if he ever met this person, he would fucking deck them. There had to be more to them, right? He clicked on their YouTube profile and saw no videos uploaded, but they  _ did _ have their Instagram linked at the top. When it opened and revealed an overly tan, fit man, Sanji almost choked on his tongue.

_ Holy shit, this is GreenIsGood?! What kind of body is that?!  _ Sanji spent the next few minutes going through the photos to get a better look. Almost every picture was some sort of body shot, showing off the man’s rippling muscles. Finding none of his photos had a good shot of his face, Sanji became a little disappointed. He either cropped his face just enough so you could only see the bottom of his chiseled jaw, or it was a faraway shot with a turned head. The scar cutting across his entire chest was interesting enough, at least. Scary, actually.

Scrolling back to the top using extra caution to not like a single photo on the way - he was quite deep in this man’s life - he saw he had over sixteen thousand followers! What the fuck?! The guy’s bio only had the name  _ ZoRoronoa _ and a quote that said,  _ “I'll top unless you can put me in my place.” _

_ Wait, what?  _ Sanji reread that line a few times trying to understand it in any way other than  _ this guy was gay.  _ Sanji was practically drooling at this point but had to shake his mind free from the man’s sex-trap because this greek god was still GreenIsGood, and GreenIsGood was  _ annoying,  _ no matter how  _ sexy _ he was.

___

It had been a few weeks since Sanji graduated college. His dad was on his ass to get a job at one of the family businesses but he had no interest in it at all. He let all the calls from his father or siblings go to voicemail and made sure he avoided their side of town in case they ran into each other. It wouldn’t take long for them to come directly to his apartment but he’d deal with that when the time came. Sanji decided to enjoy what little time he had left with his independence and cooking hobby.

The farmer’s market was pretty empty today, even for a Tuesday. Sanji said hello to the cashier’s he had come to know over the years of coming to this store and headed down the dairy aisle to grab a tub of yogurt. Next to the creams was a muscled guy Sanji hadn’t seen here before. The man ran his fingers through his obnoxiously green hair and grabbed it at the roots in what Sanji assumed to be frustration if the growl had anything to do with it. The man stared at his phone, looked at the cooler, his phone, the cooler, and then, just loud enough for the blonde to hear as he walked by, said,  _ ‘fuck it’ _ under his breath and grabbed a carton of whipping cream, tossing it in his basket with defeat.

Sanji raised his eyebrows wondering what the hell had him so frustrated staring at dairy products. Shaking his head, he continued his shopping. It wasn’t the weirdest thing he had seen in his life, so whatever. He supposed the guy’s choice of hair color was more strange than him growling at a shelf full of cream. Not many people sported that particular shade.

Rounding the corner to the produce section, the same man was standing in front of the vegetables. Sanji grabbed a few baskets of strawberries as he silently observed the mental breakdown this green guy seemed to be having. He was hunched over his phone, furiously ticking away as he muttered to himself. On his way over to the back of the store for the butcher’s counter, Sanji had to pass him by and caught a few cursed sentences.

“Fucking prissy guy and his fancy ingredients. Makin me Google what the fuck a chive is.”

Sanji had to cover up a snort after hearing that one. This guy was a total idiot. The idea of him snorting brought back the comment GreenIsGood made about his laugh and that wiped the smile right from Sanji’s face. Which, now that he thought about it, that guy resembled GreenIsGood, at least from the side. Sanji gave one last look over his shoulder before leaving the dumbass alone.

The butcher’s counter had three people in line when Sanji approached.  _ There must be a sale going on,  _ Sanji thought as he looked around. He ducked in front of the glass to check out the prices of some fish. Someone came up beside him and stared with him.

“What the fuck is clam nectar?” came the voice Sanji recognized to be the Frustrated Dairy-Chives Guy. 

Deciding to save the man a few minutes of his trouble, he spoke up. “It’s the juice extracted while steaming clams.” The man thanked him and then had the gall to ask if he could buy it in a can. Sanji about shit himself hearing someone ask such a thing. Why on earth would someone buy clam nectar in a can when the ocean was less than fifty miles away! This market received all their seafood fresh every morning and this guy wanted to buy clam nectar  _ in a can?!  _ What’s next,  _ garlic in a fucking jar?! _ “Disgusting,” he spat, wrinkling his nose. “Just buy the clams here and make it yourself, idiot,” he said and gestured to the counter in front of them.

The green-haired man finally looked up from his phone, eyes full of shock. Sanji couldn’t believe how much he resembled GreenIsGood. If only his black v-neck shirt was a little deeper, he’d be able to see if there was a thick scar cutting across his chest. “I-I’m sorry, what did you just say?” the man stuttered, mouth hanging open like a damn dumb-struck gorilla.

Sanji jutted a hip out to plant a hand over it. “I  _ said _ just buy the fucking clams and make it your damn self. It isn’t that hard to do,” he said, losing his patience with the stranger. He almost went off on him to point out no one ever takes advantage of their local farmer’s markets but instead waited to see what the man had to say because clearly, he was trying to spit something out. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water a few times before he finally was able to form a sentence - well,  _ tried  _ to form a sentence.

“You’re...you’re…?” he attempted. 

Sanji rolled his eyes and cut him off. He didn’t have time for this. “Wasting my time by talking to a neanderthal like you? Yeah, I am,” he snapped and faced the counter as it was his turn in line. The butcher smiled at him and asked how he was doing like he did every Tuesday. The man practically expected Sanji to show up around this time every week now. They spoke for a few moments before Sanji asked for a pound of scallops and a pound of shrimp. 

Everything was normal minus the weighty stare the blonde could feel boring into the back of him. He was positive if he turned around he’d see Green Chives looking at him, and sure enough, when he was handed his seafood wrapped in brown paper and turned to leave, there the muscle-head was, gaping at him.

“What the fuck are you staring at, Moss-head?” Sanji snapped. The man laughed at the insult so Sanji rolled his eyes again and shoved past him.

“Wait!” he called. Sanji stopped mid-step. What could this guy possibly want from him? At this point, the guy was so strange and stupid that it could be anything! But, never did he think he’d hear the words that came out of his mouth next. “All blue eyes.”

Whipping around, Sanji glared at the man, gritting his teeth hard enough he could hear them creaking against each other. This wasn’t good. Who the fuck was this guy? How did he know who he was? What gave it away? Did Yonji have some cult following and he sent one of his green minions after him to drag him back home?! 

“What the fuck did you just say? Who are you?” The blonde snatched the man by the wrist to pull him off into an aisle and away from prying eyes and eager ears.

The man seemed to relax now, no longer gaping like a fool but flowing with confidence. Sanji had to admit he looked good like that, but he still hated this guy for knowing who he was. “Just a fellow fan, is all,” he answered, raking his fingers through his short hair.

_ He really does look like GreenIsGood. He has the same build, they both have green hair, he watches my videos...but there’s no way. The chances are one in a million.  _ Sanji looked him up and down, squinting with displeasure as he remembered how annoying the YouTube guy was. “What’s your username?” he asked.

“Ouch, that hurts. I thought we had enough of a friendly rivalry going on between us that you’d at least be able to have a  _ clue  _ to who I might be,” he answered and that made Sanji feel even  _ more  _ inclined to think this was exactly who he thought he was. He was torn between admiring his clean-shaven face with perfect skin and hating his guts because he was such a  _ brat  _ to him over the internet. He got under his skin too easily.

“Don’t flatter yourself. I have thousands of followers and hundreds of comments.” Which was true. This is why there was no way it was ‘ZoRoronoa.’

To his surprise, the man faked a ridiculous pout, puffing his cheeks and furrowing his brows to say, “You take a lot of time to personally argue with me. Thought I was special.”

_ Whatever, if this guy isn’t going to tell me who he fuckin is, then I don’t care. I don’t have time for this weirdo.  _ Sanji muttered the guy was being annoying and left down the aisle. A large part of him still itched to find out who he was, though. To know how he learned who he was. Did he stalk him? Is that how he found him out?

“Green is good.”

_ Oh. Oh, there is no way. There is no fucking way this is real. The dickhead I spent months arguing with on my videos, the Greek god whose pictures I gawk at weekly, the gross fuck-wad who used jarred garlic and made fun of my laugh is right here in the same store as me. _

_ What was that promise I had made myself? If I ever met the man, I’d deck him? Oh, it is fucking on, my man. _

“Meet me in the alley when you’re done here.”

___

Sanji stood in the alleyway against the brick wall, basking in the part still reachable by the summer sun. He’d already smoked a cigarette and was lighting up a second one while he waited for ZoRoronoa to come out.

Sanji  _ could  _ forgive the guy of all his wrong-doings and see if the man wanted to hook up or something. That was an option. He knew the man swung his way and he was totally his type. All muscle and no brain, just how Sanji liked’em.

Then yet, kicking that shit-eating grin off his face sounded like a mighty fine idea, too. It had been a while since he had been in a fight and this guy could probably give him a good run for his money unless those muscles were only for show.  _ What a waste if he can’t fight, _ Sanji thought. 

Just as he was lighting up a third cigarette, the green-haired man came out with his bags of groceries, a lop-sided smirk on his face. 

“Yo.”

For some reason, that’s all it took for Sanji to decide on what way he wanted to go in this scenario. That dumb smile and his nonchalant hello had him seething as he remembered all the little jabs he took at him for no good reason. Just to be difficult! Sanji shoved his phone in his pocket and spun on his heel to send a flying roundhouse kick to wipe that grin off his face.

“Shit! I didn’t think I came over here to get jumped!”

“Shitty green bastard! You’re so fucking annoying to deal with!” 

“Oh, you wanna fight?” GreenIsGood asked, setting his bags down behind him and sized Sanji up. “I’ll drop you right here, pretty boy.” Hearing that made Sanji  _ rage.  _ “You ain’t gotta reply to me but ya do, so it’s not my fault. Like you said, there are hundreds of comments...but you reply to me.” Sanji growled as he spun around with an extended leg aimed perfectly for the man’s ribs. He was shocked when his ankle was easily caught. “Got ya,” he taunted.

Sanji smiled and flipped his body enough to kick GreenIsGood with his  _ other  _ leg - right in the side of his head. The guy dropped to his hip with a hand over his ear. Sanji watched him pull his hand away and there was red smeared over his palm. 

_ “Got ya,” _ Sanji repeated, smoke leaving his mouth as he smiled. He grabbed his things and made to leave the gorilla dumbfounded in the alleyway on his backside. 

“Wait!” the man called again, scurrying to his feet.

“Jesus, are you fucking obsessed with me? Are you one of those freaky stalkers?!” Sanji shrieked, backing away. He held his hands out as if to warn the other to stay back.

“No! Fuck, no. I just - I just...can I…?” the man tried. Sanji wasn’t sure how to feel right now. “Can I buy you a drink?”

Sanji sputtered for a moment before he could manage a coherent sentence. “I just lay you out and you want to get me a drink? You’re bleeding!”  _ Is this guy a psycho? _

“Zoro.”

_ “What?” _

“It’s my name. Zoro,” he said and stuck his hand out for Sanji to take.

Waiting a moment in hesitation, the blonde sighed. Apparently, instead of choosing one route to go down, he got both. Kicked his ass  _ and  _ gave him his number. Giving a weak smile, he looked into Zoro’s grey eyes, the eyes he was never able to see in his Instagram photos. They were beautiful. “Sanji.”

___

“So - what? The bastard asks for my number and wants to get a drink with me but then doesn’t text me at all?!” Sanji shouted into his apartment, looking at Honey who sat on the arm of the couch. His cat slowly blinked at him while she listened to her owner rant away. “Do you think he changed his mind because I made him bleed?”

Honey didn’t have an answer. Sanji moaned into his hands while he covered his face in embarrassment. He was going to go on a date with a bratty, hot guy at some point but he didn’t know when because he never got  _ Zoro’s  _ number. If he knew the guy was going to take this long to get a hold of him, he’d have asked for Zoro’s in return.

_ It’s been... _ Sanji counted on his fingers,  _ four days since then, dammit!  _ He looked up to the clock on the wall, it read 2:04 pm.

His phone vibrated next to him.

**_Unknown Number:_ ** _ Yo. It’s Zoro. The guy you made bleed cause you can’t handle comments on the internet. _

Oh, of course he would reply when Sanji started freaking out about it. If it worked like that all the time, Sanji would have done this on Wednesday. Even though he was dying to reply, he held out for as long as he could to make Zoro feel what he felt. He only lasted ten minutes. 

**_Me:_ ** _ Ugh. I was hoping you’d forgotten and died or something. _

Yeah, right. Sanji stored his number while he waited for Zoro’s answer.

**_Moss:_ ** _ Not a chance. _

**_Moss:_ ** _ How about that drink? Busy tonight? _

Eyes widening, Sanji shot from the couch. Honey jumped away to make room for Sanji bolting to his room in search of an outfit. He had to find the right thing to wear or it wouldn’t be right. If his personality didn’t pull Zoro in, he knew he could with his body. 

Time had passed a lot faster than Sanji thought it would. By the time he had finished picking out the perfect outfit down to the socks and shoes, an entire hour had flown by! 

“Shit!” Sanji hissed and dove for his phone on his bed. Quickly rereading what Zoro had said earlier, Sanji wasn’t sure what to say to not sound as eager as he really was.

**_Me:_ ** _ Maybe I’m busy. _

Sanji laughed. Since the two of them liked to argue so much on the internet, Sanji didn’t think he’d have a problem with him playing hard-to-get, even though he would  _ so  _ be the opposite of that. A shiver ran down his spine from the jittery excitement he was feeling. Shit, he was feeling a little  _ nervous,  _ too!

**_Moss:_ ** _ Yeah, with me. Where do you want to go? _

**_Me:_ ** _ Ugh. _

**_Me:_ ** _ Yeah, sure, whatever.  _

**_Me:_ ** _ Let’s meet at The Green Bit at 9 _

**_Moss:_ ** _ Never been there before. See you then. _

___

Knowing it was entirely possible that guy could show up early, Sanji was sure to show up even earlier. He wanted to make sure the dude didn’t try to pull any funny business. A lot of good-looking people seemed to keep weird secrets and Sanji wanted to be ready. Plus, it didn’t hurt to take extra precautions. He knew it was important to be fully aware of your surroundings while meeting new people. Zoro was no exception.

At the bar, the bartender asked if she could get anything for Sanji while he waited. He politely declined and tried not to pick at his fingernails or think about having another smoke. The bar was loud which made him feel anxious but he pushed that creeping feeling down before it overflowed and wouldn’t allow him to enjoy his night. Zoro was hot and Sanji wanted the night to go well - that was the main goal here.

Sanji had been waiting for a little over ten minutes before Zoro showed up. On his left, Zoro approached and brought a wave of perfume with him. Sanji immediately felt irritated.  _ What, did he have some quickie before he came here?!  _ He thought as Zoro said ‘hey’ and politely smiled at him. The blonde showed no shame when he checked Zoro out, looking him up and down to assess if Zoro was good enough or not. He bit his lip to hold back the comment he’d like to make about that girly smell but decided it could be the guy’s tastes were just more feminine than his own.

“Do I pass?” Zoro asked, fully aware of Sanji’s wondering and judgmental eyes.

Hell yeah, Zoro passed. He looked just as good with clothes on as he did with him off. Those Instagram pictures clouded his mind once or twice or more. Slowly letting out a breath and closing his eyes, Sanji said, “Yeah, whatever. You clean up nice.” Which was a fucking understatement. When he bumped into Mr. Garlic at the farmer’s market, he had been wearing ratty jeans and a black t-shirt. Right now he was in dress pants, a button-down, and his hair was styled. He hoped the guy didn’t turn out to be an asshole because it’d be a real waste, in Sanji’s opinion. 

“I know,” Zoro said smugly. “What you want to drink? Don’t be shy.”

Sanji’s lip curled but when the woman behind the bar approached, he dropped it. “Dry martini and two shots of your top shelf, silver tequila,” he told her.

Zoro’s eyebrow went up. “The second shot for me or are they both for you?”

“They’re both for me if you waste my time,” Sanji scoffed. To his surprise, Zoro laughed and lightly shook his head while he ordered his drink.

The two spoke of Zoro’s adventure at his horrible attempt to make the chowder recipe Sanji had made a video for. Before he knew it, Zoro was tipping his glass back to finish off the rest of his whiskey and coke and asking if he wanted another martini. Sanji’s laughter died down as he contemplated, swishing the liquid around the triangular glass. “Yeah, just one more. But I want something else.”

“Get whatever you want, it’s on me.” Zoro nodded for the bartender. “Two more of those tequila shots, another whiskey and coke, and whatever he’s getting,” Zoro said, thumbing to Sanji.

Zoro grabbed their drinks and together they found a booth away from the louder part of the bar. The booze and privacy helped relax Sanji but he still eyed the second pair of shots that sat on the table. Already, beads of condensation welled up and trickled down the side, taunting the blonde.

As if reading his mind, Zoro spoke up. “If you don’t want it, I’ll happily drink both.”

“Trying to get me back to your place tonight?” Sanji asked. 

Zoro laughed. “Yeah, don’t think that’s gonna happen. Got a roommate that would wrap around my neck the moment I walked in the door. Wouldn’t get us any alone time, yanno,” he said and when he connected eyes with Sanji’s blank stare, his jaw dropped a little. “Oh, you’re serious. Sorry.” Zoro scratched the back of his head while he tried thinking of the right way to say this. “I, uh, don’t really do this very often so I’m...rusty. I’m up for whatever, honestly.” 

It made Sanji feel a little better that he wasn’t being pressured into drinking, glad to learn Zoro didn’t intend to get him piss-drunk. Sanji was looking at the shot glasses and subconsciously rubbing the breast pocket of his shirt under the vest feeling the box of smokes he craved. 

Zoro must have noticed. “Look, you really don’t have to take it, I got it just in case. Here,” he said and slammed the first shot and made for the next but Sanji stopped him. 

“Nah, I’ll take it. I was just wondering what your intentions were.” Sanji threw the shot back when Zoro released it. “I don’t do this very often, either.” The liquid warmed his insides on its way down to his stomach. The heavy feeling alcohol usually brings was beginning to catch up to him. Sometimes he hated being a lightweight. 

Zoro cocked his head. “Why were you so easy to get here, then?” Sanji crinkled his face in offense. “I - that’s not how I meant it. I only meant, if you don’t do this often, what made you give me your number?”

Sanji sat back in the booth and rubbed a palm into the one visible eye, letting a cheesy smile break out across his face. “I had split the cartilage in your ear open and you didn’t even look  _ mad  _ about it. You had a fucking  _ smile  _ on your face, for crying out loud,” he laughed. “I thought, ‘why the hell not. I’ll kick his ass if he sucks’ and well, here we are.”

Zoro reeled back in his seat to stare incredulously at the blonde. “You couldn’t  _ really  _ kick my ass, you know,” he growled. “You’re like a twig compared to me.”

“Hah?! Excuse me, it was  _ you  _ who had their ass handed to them, shit-head!”

“Yeah, I wasn’t gonna knock you out in an alleyway. You think I wanna spend the night in jail?” Zoro said, waving his hand around. “Plus, I was in utter shock that a babe like you could move like that!”

Sanji’s mouth snapped shut. He hadn’t been complimented in a long while, the feeling almost foreign to him now. He forgot how good it felt to receive a nice comment. “...babe?” he asked, suddenly shy.

“Well, yeah...you’re attractive, obviously,” he muttered and looked across the bar.

The blonde stirred the straw around in his mojito causing the mint leaves to go crazy. “Yeah, whatever,” Sanji mumbled, slightly embarrassed now. He couldn’t believe how well the night was going so far. They got along just fine, even if they didn’t agree over who could kick whose ass.  _ And for the record,  _ Sanji added in his head,  _ it would be me who would win that battle. Just because I’m not built like a truck, doesn’t mean I don’t have muscles.  _ Sanji quietly sniffled back his pout. 

Breaking his thoughts, Zoro abruptly stood and moved to his side of the booth. Sanji backed up to the wall to put as much room as possible between them. Sanji suddenly felt all his anxiety wash over him again, reminding him that Zoro was still a stranger and could potentially be dangerous.  _ Just as I thought this was going well, too!  _ “W-what are you doing, asshole?!”

Getting straight to the point, Zoro looked into Sanji’s one visible eye and said with a smile, “I like you. I like your sailor’s mouth and I like that you can fight a man twice your size. It’s hot.”

The guy seemed genuine, he really did. And Sanji wanted to trust him. His face didn’t scream ‘danger’ and he didn’t give off any ominous vibes, at least none that Sanji could pick up on. So Zoro was having as much of a good time as he was...? 

Sanji gave a lopsided smile back and said with little enthusiasm, “Yeah, alright.”

Once Zoro’s attraction to the blonde was out in the open, it set the stage for an easier conversation to follow. They talked for over an hour, laughing and poking fun at each other. After their drinks were long finished and Zoro had gotten up to fetch some water for them, their current discussion died down and they were left in silence. Zoro spoke up.

“So, is it safe to say this is a date, then?”

Sanji wanted to jump at him saying,  _ ‘yes, yes, yes!’ _ but the sudden bold question had him itching for a smoke again. Zoro was a really interesting person and Sanji wanted to take him to his place for whatever they were up for but didn’t know how to go about bringing it up. Even if Zoro had expressed his interests in the blonde, it didn’t mean Sanji had to act desperately. 

“Do you need a smoke?” Zoro asked.

Sanji looked over to see the other staring back at him with a steely gaze. He wasn’t sure if he should be impressed Zoro knew what was on his mind, attracted to the idea the guy was already falling into his pace, or if it looked to Zoro that Sanji wanted out of the situation, especially after the ‘date’ question. “Yeah, I’ll just be a minute,” he decided to say.

Zoro sent a soft smile his way, his eyes forming into small crescents. “I’ll come with,” he said. Sanji frowned. He didn’t want Zoro to feel like he  _ had  _ to do that. It wouldn’t take long to suck the cig down, he’d be right back. “Uh, if that’s okay?” Zoro added with uncertainty. 

“You don’t have to, but if you want,” Sanji told him. Zoro said it was no problem at all and waved him away, saying he’d meet him outside in a moment after settling his bill.

The cool night’s air felt good on Sanji’s skin. He was glad for the smoke break. When Zoro had texted him earlier suggesting to meet up, Sanji put off smoking for the rest of the day so he didn’t smell as bad. Most people were put off by his intense habit, but Zoro didn’t seem to mind, at least not so far. He pulled out his pack and lit up.

To Sanji’s left, Zoro was seen weaving in and out of the other groups of smokers and stopped directly in front of him, blocking the bright orange streetlight from his eyes. After each puff of his cig, Sanji expected Zoro to say something, anything, but he didn’t. He waited patiently, at least until the cigarette was smoked halfway down. 

Zoro placed his hands over the blonde's hips and leaned in, only hesitating for a millisecond to give Sanji time to move the cigarette from his mouth but not enough time to exhale the smoke. Zoro was quick to capture his lips and slide his tongue across Sanji’s lip.

The kiss was short and Sanji could see the slight worry in Zoro’s eyes, probably wondering if what he did was okay or not. Which it totally was. It was very okay. Sanji held his stare while bringing the cigarette back to his lips for another drag. The cig was smoked completely and tossed to the bin a few feet away before the blonde finally spoke.

“My place?”


	3. My Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji takes Zoro back to his place to finish off their date.
> 
> Artwork at the end is by @buri_op on Twitter! Check them out! (Thank youuu, btw!!!!<3)

It didn’t take very long to get to Sanji’s place. Just like Zoro, the blonde didn’t live too far from the bar, or from the market they both met at. They had been walking for only fifteen minutes before the modern apartment complex came into view as they rounded a corner.

“Wow, fancy,” Zoro said with a low whistle. Sanji didn’t answer him, though. He was quiet on their walk, they both were. Zoro wasn’t sure how to take that but he had to remind himself it was _Sanji_ who invited him back, he didn’t invite himself. The night had gone so well, he had to stop thinking he was going to somehow mess it up.

The blonde walked in front of Zoro when they reached the main door to punch in the security code. There was a _click_ next to them, the sound indicating the door had been unlocked, and they went through. There were ten floors in the building but Sanji lived on the third level so they opted for taking the stairs. When they reached the door at the end of the hall, Sanji stopped.

“Everything alright?” Zoro asked, craning his neck to peek around Sanji’s shoulder, inspecting the door and its number of 320. “Is this yer place?”

Sanji huffed a laugh and slowly turned to him. “You really want to come in?”

The question was unexpected. Zoro furrowed his brows, unsure if the other was being serious or not. “I came this far, didn’t I?” The blonde shrugged and proceeded to slip his key into the hole, twisting it. Again, he hesitated for a split second, but eventually pushed the door open.

Once the entryway and kitchen lights were turned on, Zoro saw the place was quite spacious and clean, minus all the recording equipment, at least. He inwardly cursed Luffy for making it hard for him to keep their small apartment presentable. _Damn bastard._

Sanji stood in the kitchen with his back to Zoro, who wanted nothing more than to place his hands on his hips and feel him all over. Instead, he waited patiently for the blonde to speak while he looked around.

On the island, there was an arm bracket attached to the edge holding up some expensive-looking DSLR camera. Zoro wasn’t sure of the specifics but he knew he shouldn’t touch. On the opposite counter was another bracket with a second camera, and over by the sink was a less heavy-duty arm that looked like it was easily bendable for the right position - probably to hold a phone. It was weird for Zoro to see the ‘behind the scenes’ setup. Off in the hallway that led to the rest of the apartment, he could see the corners of some light stands. This guy didn’t fuck around when it came to his videos, did he?

“I have a cat, by the way. Her name is Honey,” Sanji informed him while tapping his fingers on the counter. He looked into the living room before adding, “You probably won’t see her much. She doesn’t like strangers.” Zoro nodded and said he liked cats and hoped to see her. “Want another drink?” Sanji asked him, easily maneuvering around his equipment as if everyone had this stuff in their kitchen. 

“Yeah,” Zoro answered, never one to pass down booze. Sanji never asked what he favored, only started pulling out his barware and getting right to it. Zoro took a few steps back to lean against the island with crossed arms, watching Sanji finish up the drinks by wiping a lime across the rim. He said thank you when he was handed his cup and took the first sip. “Oh, this is good.”

“I know,” Sanji said, a small smile curling upward at the corner of his lips. “So,” he started, the glass at his mouth and resting against his chin. “You want to watch something?”

Now it was Zoro who was smiling. When they both had admitted to each other that it had been a while since they did this whole ‘dating’ thing, Zoro initially thought Sanji had only said it so Zoro didn’t feel awkward or lame. But...maybe there was some truth to that. The blonde was trying to get him to sit on the couch with him, in the dark, ‘watching a movie’ like some high school kids in their parent’s basement. 

Playing along, Zoro nodded and went to the living room to sit. The three-seat, grey couch was plain but comfortable, Zoro leaned up against the left armrest while he balanced his drink over it. Sanji scooted in front of him between the couch and coffee table then sat at the far end. Zoro sighed. He knew he was going to have to lead this dance but he didn’t think he’d have to go _this far_ to get the guy to even make a move.

Giving an audible sigh and an eye roll, Zoro sat up and moved to the middle cushion, crossed a leg over the other, and wrapped an arm around Sanji’s shoulder. “Hi,” he said with a bright smile and took a long swig of his drink.

Sanji took Zoro by surprise in the next moment. He gave the side of his glass three little taps before downing it in one go, then turned to look him right in the eyes. “Hi,” he said back. Zoro could smell the bourbon on his breath and _god_ if that didn’t make him want to devour the blonde all the more. 

Zoro mimicked the other by throwing his drink back and leaned forward to set it on the table. With one arm tightening around Sanji’s shoulder and the other guiding his scruffy chin to his mouth, Zoro pressed his lips to Sanji’s again. The blonde all but _attacked_ him back, devouring Zoro’s mouth and forcing a moan right out of him. He laughed at himself, unable to believe he made such a noise and Sanji fed on his good mood by licking at his bottom lip in hopes Zoro would open his mouth for him.

The taste of Sanji across his tongue was making Zoro see stars. He loved the mix of whiskey, cigarettes, and the hint of lime he must have eaten while still in the kitchen. The feeling of soft, golden hair between his fingers as he ran them through and gripped a fistful until Sanji’s head was pulled back, yanking his lips off him with a wet _pop,_ made him squirm in his seat. 

“C'mere,” Zoro mumbled and tugged at Sanji’s leg to guide him over his lap. Sanji complied and cupped Zoro’s face with both hands, looking down at him, shamelessly panting. 

“For wanting to be dominated so bad, you sure are being pushy, huh?” Sanji said with a coy smile.

What the? Who the hell said anything about being _dominated?_ Zoro thought back to earlier that night and wondered if he had ever mentioned anything of the sort - coming up with nothing! “What?” Zoro asked, the sex-fog clouding his mind beginning to clear. “Where did that come from?”

Sanji leaned back and poked him in the chest with his finger. “Your Insta bio, idiot. Don’t think I didn’t see.”

That was new. “Uh, Insta bio? You mean Instagram?” Zoro asked with confusion. Sanji looked at him as if he suddenly grew two heads and nodded. “I don’t have an Instagram.”

Sanji made a face. “Uh, yes you do? It’s connected to your YouTube, I saw it,” he said. Zoro was a little upset the mood had been ruined by this weird turn of conversation. All he wanted to do was taste every inch of this blonde babe but instead, they were discussing a made-up social media account. “What are you talking about?”

At this point, Sanji looked to be more curious to figure out the mystery, or maybe just prove Zoro wrong, than he did with making out with him. The guy hopped off his lap and grabbed his cellphone, no doubt opening the app. The dim lighting from the kitchen barely lit the two of them up, but Sanji’s phone covered his face in a bluish-white glow as he searched his Instagram.

“See, here. This is you, is it not?” Sanji asked and shoved the phone two inches from Zoro’s eyes.

“Fuck,” Zoro said with a wince. He took the phone and held it a respectable distance away to see what was apparently him. The top of the page had a username of ZoRoronoa, which was actually a cool way to use his first and last name, he had to admit that. _I’m totally using that next time,_ he thought to himself as he scrolled downward. The pictures were definitely him, there was no mistaking that part. The photos were weirdly cropped, though. The selfies only showed the bottom half of his face and the rest of the photos were from far away, the photos taken by someone else. “Yeah, this is me but I didn’t make this account.”

“So…” Sanji started, his voice sounding a little disappointed. “You didn’t write the bio yourself, then?”

 _Oh yeah, that’s the whole reason this was brought up,_ Zoro thought _._ He scrolled back to the top and read the quote, _‘I'll top unless you can put me in my place.’_

Zoro’s jaw dropped. 

“Oh my god,” he whispered more in reflex than to entertain the other. He had only said those words one time in his life and he knew exactly what had happened now. “That little fucking bastard is dead when I get back home.”

“What, what’s wrong? You know who made this?”

“Yes,” Zoro growled, grinding his teeth together. “It was my shit-for-brains roommate. I - I said that to him _in private_ while piss-drunk! That absolute _bastard!”_

“Oi, oi, don’t crush my phone,” Sanji said and pulled the cell away before Zoro broke it in half.

“I am mortified.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Zoro.”

“I can’t believe this is my life.”

“People like your profile, apparently! You have over sixteen thousand followers!” Sanji said happily and started to slowly rub Zoro’s pec. Zoro groaned with humiliation. “That means it's true, though? That you want to be dominated?" As he looked into grey eyes, he swirled his finger over Zoro's chest and let it glide up his neck to grab his strong jaw. "I'll be that person to 'put you in your place' if you want."

Zoro felt as if he were in a tight spot. Of course that's what he wanted, he had always wanted that. But there was no way he was going to let just _anyone_ have him. It didn't feel right. It never felt genuine enough to stay heated in the moment. Any time he had tried to let someone else take the lead, he felt as if he had to hold himself back. Like he had to lessen himself to have the experience he wanted when really, it turned out worse. 

"Yeah, that's what I want," Zoro finally admitted since the secret was out. The grip on his chin tightened and he wanted to trust this strength, to hand himself over to this guy he had just met. "But I doubt you could pin me." 

The one visible curly eyebrow furrowed, though Sanji didn't bite back. Instead, a smile broke out across his face as he laughed. Zoro could smell the whiskey again. He laughed, too, unable to hold back because even if it turned out that Sanji couldn't put him in his place, he was still having a fun time. He'd be more than happy to fuck Sanji's brains out. Shit, in fact, maybe that's what he wanted more, he couldn't decide. 

"You look like you're thinking," Sanji said, leaning in so his nose brushed against the others. His tongue gave a quick lick over Zoro's parted lips. "Tell me what's on your mind."

"I wanna play a game." Sanji sat back enough to fully see Zoro's face in the dim lighting. "Whoever can make the other give up first gets to top the loser."

This time Sanji threw his head back in laughter, his hands clutching his stomach for comfort. Again, Zoro laughed with him, Sanji had such a contagious smile, it was hard _not_ to be happy when you saw it. 

Dramatically wiping a tear away from his eye, Sanji nodded in agreement. "Take off your clothes, then," he said, still giggling. "Don't want to ruin them, do we?" 

They got up from the couch and undressed each other between a few messy kisses. Zoro could _feel_ how ready Sanji was, his legs almost ready to spring into action, vibrating impatiently for the last article of clothing to be discarded. 

Zoro was hopping on one foot to take off his sock (it would be a rookie mistake to keep them on. Uhm, no grip on the hardwood flooring!? Zoro ain't stupid) and once he was down to his boxer briefs, he bent his legs and raised his hands in front of him. 

Sanji didn’t take a fighter’s stance. After leaning down to grab a new smoke from his pants on the coffee table, he stood tall but still somehow looked lazy about this competition he was about to take part in. One arm across his chest, the other plucking the cig from his mouth so he could slowly blow an obnoxiously large amount of smoke Zoro’s way, he said, “What are you waiting for, meat-head? Come at me.”

“You sure you can smoke in these apartments?” Zoro asked.

“You can’t.”

“You gonna get ready er what? I don’t want you tryin to cheat and say you weren’t expecting me er something.”

“I’m ready,” Sanji said cooly, confidence oozing off every visible surface of his pale skin.

The guy’s casual take was throwing Zoro off his game. His build was wider and his muscles were larger, yet Sanji didn’t seem the least bit intimidated. The facial expression he wore was the same as it was back in that alleyway, too. Zoro had never expected him to start a fight with how calm he looked just seconds before throwing a kick his way. One mistake he would not make, though, was taking this guy lightly. He had proved himself that much, at least.

One deep breath in and one deep breath out, Zoro lunged for the blonde’s middle in hopes to tackle him to the floor. Why not make this short and sweet, right?

_Wrong._

With ease, Sanji evaded Zoro’s attack. In one swift move, he brought his heel down over Zoro’s back with such great force that Zoro immediately fell to the floor upon impact. He had no time to get to his feet again because Sanji had already sat on him and was forcing his legs around his neck, squeezing tightly, then proceeded to flip them over so Sanji was on his back and Zoro was struggling on his side.

 _“Fuck,”_ Zoro wheezed and slapped his hands over Sanji’s hairy legs in a poor attempt to pry them off. He knew he was fucked. His legs _were all muscle._

“Give up, asshole?”

Zoro grunted while struggling to get away. It wasn’t supposed to go this way. He wasn’t supposed to lose, at least not this _fast!_ Who the fuck opens with kicking?! Both times they fought, Sanji brought him down with just one kick.

Smoke sputtered out of Sanji’s mouth as he laughed, it sluggishly wafting around Zoro’s head. He coughed, but not from the cigarette.

 _“Fuck,”_ Zoro repeated. The pressure behind his eyes was beginning to build and his throat felt tight. He didn’t know how long he would be able to last like this. Black dots blinked in and out of his vision while he was still able to hold his eyelids up. _Shit, shit, shit, shit._

“You’re going to pass out, stop being stubborn!” Sanji said, poking him in the head with his forefinger. Zoro couldn’t believe he was losing to a guy who wasn’t even using his hands! 

There had to be a way out of this situation! Like, obviously there was but it was too late for him to act on any of those ideas because he was...beginning to…

“I -” Zoro started, coughing again when he tried using his voice. 

“Go on, you can do it.”

“I -”

“That’s it, big guy. You’re so close.”

Closing his eyes, Zoro could not _fucking_ believe he was doing this.

“I give up.”

___

The moment Zoro finished his sentence, Sanji released his constrictor’s hold and sat up to lean over his head. “You alright?” 

Zoro answered by choking on his coughs and rubbing his neck.

Sanji was quick to stand and jog to the kitchen for a glass of water. “Here,” he said and handed it over with a squat in front of Zoro. The guy whipped his head up to glare at him, but he just shrugged it off. _He’s probably feeling pretty humiliated right now. I don’t blame him, though. Didn’t even stand a chance against me, poor bastard._ “Better?” he asked when Zoro chugged the water down.

Zoro wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he shoved the glass into Sanji’s chest to take. “Fuck you.”

“Come on, don’t be a sore loser.” Sanji set the cup behind him on the coffee table and patted Zoro on the back a few times. “Come to my bedroom so I can take my prize.”

Zoro growled but Sanji expected it. He stubbed out his spent cigarette in an ashtray and left Zoro to wallow in his own self-pity until he could get over himself. After a few moments, the guy seemed to have regained himself just fine, maybe even getting over the humiliation, and came into the only room down the dark hallway that was lit. Sanji sat on the end of his bed, his form almost completely silhouetted by the lamp on his bedside table behind him. He stood when Zoro approached.

“You lasted longer than most people would have, you know. If that makes you feel any better.” Zoro grunted that he understood Sanji wasn’t going to hold that loss against him. The brute even smiled, even if it was a small one. Looking the man up and down, Sanji had to say this guy’s photos were nothing compared to the real thing. Every muscle was heavily defined, his skin was darker and person, and, most importantly, he was able to see his eyes. None of his Instagram photos showed them, and now that Sanji was able to stare into them as long as he wanted, he didn’t think he had ever seen such beautifully colored grey eyes. Zoro seemed to be a huge catch. Well, except for the whole ‘head-empty’ sort of thing. _How did he not realize an opening tackle is so easily dodged? Fucking idiot._

_Fucking sexy, meat-headed idiot._

“You should tell me all about this huge scar that is doing _wonders_ for your rank on the Attractive Scale,” Sanji said, pointing out the elephant-in-the-room-sized gash that split Zoro’s torso diagonally in half. He closed the space between them and gave the other a single, soft kiss. “But for now, I’d like to continue what we started. Is that alright with you?”

Zoro smiled with a nod. It didn’t go unnoticed that he had become quiet since he lost. He wondered if he regretted the suggestion? But he had said himself he wanted this, just, didn’t want anyone _finding out_ that he wanted it. Apparently. Or something.

Sanji motioned for Zoro to get comfortable while he hooked up his Bluetooth and put some music on to ease the tension from the room. When he turned around, he saw how stiff Zoro was, sitting there, repeatedly rubbing his palms over his bare thighs, aimlessly looking around the room. All the confidence that he had twenty minutes ago was long gone, this was an entirely different guy than who he had met in the farmer’s market. Sanji wondered what was going through his mind, wondering what made him practically shut down.

The right playlist was going and Sanji made his way to stand in front of Zoro after throwing a bottle of lube and a condom on the bed. Just a few weeks ago he was creeping on this guy's social media, drooling over all those muscles and fantasizing what he tasted like. “Lay back,” he told Zoro. “I want to taste you.”

The reaction that pulled from Zoro would fuel Sanji for weeks. He hoped tonight would turn out alright because he wouldn’t mind seeing him again. He was having fun. 

Zoro did as he was told without a word. Maybe a crease of his eyebrows and an added scowl, but he still complied. As he backed up, Sanji followed, crawling over him at the same time. Once his head hit the pillow, Sanji started kissing him again. Their tongues slid over each other, dipping in each other’s mouths. Sanji thought it felt nice when Zoro ran his fingers through his wavy hair, slightly gripping at the roots and forcing their mouths impossibly closer together. It brought out the feral side of Sanji as he felt the electricity run down his spine. He ground his hips into Zoro’s erection. The man sucked in a breath, apparently a little shocked the both of them were already hard. 

The deeper the kissing, the rougher the grinding, the more Sanji grew impatient to take much bolder moves. The decision was easy to make, though, seeing as how Zoro returned every ounce of energy right back at him. _Oh, this will be fun._

Placing wet kisses on Zoro’s neck, clamping his teeth down into his shoulder, listening to his breath hitch with every suck of skin - god, this guy was hot. He trailed his tongue over his pecs and pinched his nipples between his fingers. Sanji could feel Zoro spread his legs wider as he arched his back up towards him to let out a moan. The grip in his hair tightened. Sanji ventured further south.

Once reaching the elastic of Zoro’s underwear, he sat up to pull them off, ridding himself of his at the same time. Getting back on the bed, he took a glance at Zoro. His face was tinted red, easily looking in a mix of embarrassed and aroused. Both emotions looked great on him. His mouth was slightly parted while he breathed heavily from the loss of Sanji’s weight on him. 

“Roll over for me. On your knees.” Sanji flicked his head upward for Zoro to get moving. There was hesitance but Zoro’s ass was soon in full view. “Spread your legs,” Sanji said smugly. Slowly, Zoro resituated his legs and turned around to face him.

“Are you gonna fuck me already?” he asked, a slight hint of disappointment laced beneath the question. Grey eyes flickered down to take in all of Sanji’s naked form, the stare slowing at his middle to linger. 

“No, you idiot,” Sanji answered and leaned forward to press his chest to his back. He snaked his hand over the muscles of Zoro’s ribs and glided his hand down rock-hard abs until he could grab a hold of his erection. Zoro groaned and Sanji could feel him loosen up a bit after each, agonizingly slow stroke. Which was good. He wanted to make him feel comfortable, to lessen the unmistakable worry that lived inside his head for some reason. What kind of guy wants to bottom but looks like he’s about to have the worst time of his life? Whatever the reason, it didn’t matter, cause Sanji was an _exceptional lover_ to both men and women, and he’d give Zoro nothing less than his usual. “We’ve barely started and you’re _dripping,_ you know,” Sanji cooed into his ear while he swirled the precum around the head of Zoro’s cock. 

Sanji continued jerking Zoro off, a little faster than before but keeping to a casual pace, then used his other hand to caress Zoro’s ass, giving one of his cheeks a firm squeeze. This guy was ripped _everywhere._ Sanji shivered with anticipation while he kissed his smooth back. The noises being pulled from the other was letting Sanji know he was getting really into it and was more than likely not going to last much longer with how he rocked his hips into Sanji’s fist.

There was no way Sanji was going to allow him to cum so soon. Letting go, he pushed Zoro’s head into the pillow making his arms buckled beneath him. 

“Ugh, you bastard,” Zoro said, voice muffled before lifting his head. “The hell you think yer -aahHH!” Zoro’s sentence was cut off by a yelp, startled that Sanji had licked the crease of his ass.

Without waiting to see what else Zoro had to say, Sanji used both hands to spread his cheeks enough to get his tongue wedged inside. At the first touch to his entrance, Zoro melted into the bedsheets with a satisfied groan, happy with the action. Hearing such a thing had Sanji eagerly pursuing, sliding his tongue up and down and applying more pressure each time.

Sanji’s face was becoming soaked with his own saliva by how sloppily he was going after Zoro. After a wet suck, Sanji inserted his tongue, moving it the little he could, then continued to lick the rim. When Sanji’s tongue dipped inside for the second time, Zoro eagerly pressed backward in hopes for more, which Sanji didn’t mind. 

The subtle clenching and relaxing and pushing and rocking and all those sultry moans from his partner could get Sanji off without even being touched. He loved to please and Zoro was _putty._ Sanji gave a slow lick over his entrance, then forced his tongue inside again, Zoro unashamedly moaning for more. The temperature in the room began to rise making them both pant with more than just want and the space was filled with grotesque, wet slurping noises and cool R&B music.

Only when Sanji could feel Zoro stroking himself did he let up, and only just enough for him to speak, his lips still brushing against the skin as he spoke.

“Don’t do that, Zoro,” Sanji said and went back to eating. The other gave a whine of frustration and sped up in hopes to finish before Sanji could stop him. Not going to happen. “No,” he said and reached around to swat his hand away. “I want to make you cum when we fuck.”

Zoro leaned forward to mush his face into the pillow, muffling his voice again. “Fuck me then,” Sanji thought he heard him say.

Sanji sat up and wiped at his mouth with the back of his arm. “Yeah?” he asked. While he waited for Zoro to answer, he admired the view he still had. The perfect bow of Zoro’s back made it seem as if Zoro was presenting his ass to him like the prize he really was. The sides of his ass cheeks were tinted pink, even under such dark skin, from all the harsh gripping Sanji was doing. He liked that. He gave one side a quick slap making Zoro cover it for protection and look back at him, face just as red.

“What was that for?!” Zoro asked, panting with flushed cheeks.

“You want me inside you?” Sanji asked, feigning slight ignorance but squirted a plop of lube into one hand and rubbed them together so both were coated.

“Y- _yes_ , isn’t that what I fuckin came over here for?!”

“Oi, don’t get shitty with me, dick-head,” Sanji said and pressed his finger deep inside Zoro. The guy didn’t bite back against the insult, only pushed his lower half towards Sanji in a silent plea for _more._

And so Sanji gave him more. With one finger, Sanji was sure to move in and out at a slow pace for Zoro to adjust to the feeling of something inside. He pressed his finger against his walls to relax the muscles. Zoro moaned. Sanji wanted to make sure he was thoroughly stretched, though.

At two fingers, Zoro reached under his body to touch himself again. Instead of stopping him, Sanji moved his hand away and started to jerk him off for him, the lube-slicked hand sliding with ease. “Why do you want to cum so bad before I’ve even taken you, huh?” he asked, picking up the pace over his cock with one hand and stretching his insides with the other. “Or are you trying to shoot for more than one orgasm?”

“Shut...the hell up,” Zoro breathed. “Don’t make me...change...my mminddgghhh.”

“I don’t think you could change your mind even if you wanted to, big guy,” Sanji said and sunk his fingers into the spot he knew oh-so-well. Zoro threw his head back with a lewd shout. Sanji rubbed over it again, a few times more, and when Zoro’s hips bucked forward, Sanji released him entirely.

 _“Come on,”_ Zoro all but cried. 

Quick with his hands, Sanji rolled the condom on and pulled Zoro upward to sit over Sanji’s bent thighs. Sanji felt over his abs for a moment, scratching at what he could until he, too, could no longer wait. He held Zoro flush against him to help guide him down, Zoro sinking until Sanji had nothing left to give.

They both sighed at the feeling. 

It was one thing to go slow with foreplay or preparation. Sanji liked to make those moments last because he knew himself too well. Once he was actively fucking his partner, he could hardly go about it slowly. And Zoro was one of the bigger partner’s he’s ever had, the guy’s frame had to have been double his own! His muscles shimmered in the lamplight from all the sweat and jelly Sanji had been rubbing over him and _fuck,_ he didn’t think he could get any sexier. 

Sanji snapped himself out of his daydream and began thrusting upward into Zoro.

___

The damn tease was holding him up so Zoro couldn’t change positions. It was great, though, and he could cum very easily from this position if Sanji hit him just right, but he wanted to be able to see the guy’s face. He was very attractive and this whole time he hasn’t been able to see much of him, too busy with his face smashed against a pillow while Sanji pleasured him.

Those long, pale fingers gripped at him, scratching his skin and pinching his nipples. Zoro was loving all the attention Sanji was giving him. As much as he wanted to have the chance to witness Sanji spilling over, he was also okay with finishing it off in this position, too. It was just a one-night stand. A single fuck. Maybe the guy felt it would be too intimate to face each other with full eye contact? Maybe he stayed behind him for that very reason.

Whatever. So far, he was already having a way better experience than the other times he’d allow someone to take him. Sanji had been very attentive to his needs, wanting to warm Zoro up without asking for anything in return. That alone right there blew his fucking mind.

But then there’s the part that Zoro challenged him on. The part where he had doubted Sanji could pin him. Back in the living room when he was being choked out by his massive thighs, all Zoro could think of was how much power was behind those muscles, and right now, Sanji was using that power on him. The blonde slid his hands down to grab at Zoro’s waist for better purchase, gaining him the extra balance he needed to fuck Zoro harder.

 _“AH,_ Sanji, Sanji,” Zoro warned through heavy, broken panting, trying to speak even a single sentence. Sanji had changed his angle and was getting him just right, making it near impossible to speak. His orgasm was approaching quickly, his mind turning to mush. “I’m gonna, _ahh,_ I’m gonna cum.”

“No, not yet,” Sanji said and pushed Zoro forward. 

The position change was expected, Zoro almost predicted he wouldn’t want him to end it so fast. Obviously, he was disappointed to lose all that buildup, being so close to the edge only to be pulled back by the collar, but he knew if Sanji fucked him into the mattress like this, he was sure he could use even more strength against him. Zoro closed his eyes with a smile, relishing in the amazing sex he was getting.

What _wasn’t_ expected, though, was when Sanji grabbed Zoro’s shoulder to roll him halfway over, stopping his hips from following him. “Hold this leg up,” Sanji told him and slapped at his thigh.

Zoro smiled from under heavy-lidded eyes. Sanji wanted him to be on his back but stay on his right hip so his torso was twisted. He hiked up his left leg to his chest and kept the other straight, then looked up at Sanji who was patiently waiting, watching from under a messy curtain of sweaty, blonde hair.

“Oh, you look so good, Zoro,” Sanji said under his breath. He moved his legs to mount himself behind Zoro’s ass, lined up, and pressed inside. Another sigh from the two. 

Sanji could reach much deeper than before and they both could feel the difference. Zoro was coming undone quickly like this, and even Sanji was having trouble staying coherent. Zoro kept hearing him say, _‘fuck, shit, fuck, yes, god,’_ under his breath as he snapped his hips in a grueling pace.

The feeling of Sanji hitting his prostate had him rolling his eyes and unable to make a sound. Zoro let his head fall back and just let the damn guy fuck him senseless. 

“Look at me,” Sanji said breathlessly, pulling Zoro back to reality. 

The blonde was biting his bottom lip when Zoro was able to make his eyes focus. He could feel that coiling heat tightening in his lower abdomen again. As much as he was up for more rounds, he had to cum this time. He didn’t know what he would do if Sanji denied him his orgasm for a third time, it was beginning to become too much. It was almost at the point where Zoro might turn the tables and flip Sanji over and fuck him just so he could finally finish without interruption.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” Sanji asked Zoro. His grip on Zoro’s thigh and ass were enough that Zoro thought it almost painful. He liked that. He really liked Sanji.

 _“N-nowahh,”_ Zoro corrected, the only word he could say before he spilled over the edge, cumming harder than he had ever remembered before. The first half had him left with his mouth hanging open, no sound able to come out, and the other half he was groaning louder than the music in the background. 

Sanji kept laying into him, more vigorously than before. “Christ, you’re sexy,” Sanji managed to say, his thrusting becoming more sporadic, the even pace breaking into random, jerky movements. Zoro knew all too well what that meant. He squeezed his insides over Sanji for a little extra fun. The blonde doubled over as if he had been hit in the gut. _“Ahh,”_ he moaned, unashamed of the sounds he was making. Zoro kept himself clenched tight around Sanji’s cock, waiting until - “Shit, I’m... _ahhh,”_ Sanji said and immediately slowed his hips into sluggish pumps that eventually stopped when he had ridden his entire orgasm to its end.

Another thing Zoro expected was for the guy to simply collapse over top of him without even pulling out, but he was proved wrong again. Not only did Sanji want to give eye contact while fucking, but he also afterward slipped out of him before laying back on his bed. He routinely pulled the condom off and tied the end in a knot, tossing it to the floor. Both arms were thrown out to the sides with exhaustion. Zoro could feel him slowly stroking his back as he was still in his twisted position trying to catch his breath. Sanji sat up.

“Did you need help?” He asked, and automatically started to carefully move Zoro’s thigh so it was straight again, then gently pulled at his shoulder so he was fully on his back, looking up at the ceiling and Sanji’s beautiful face. “Better?”

Zoro nodded, trying to swallow past the dryness in his mouth. He squinted from the pain in his lower back, not entirely used to being contorted into weird positions, and the back of his throat hurt. He never said he needed anything, but Sanji got up from the bed and left the room to come back with a glass of water. Zoro admired his tight ass and lean body, showing off everything he had as he pranced around his apartment in his sexual after-glow, radiating a mile-wide radius. Chugging the water back until he drank it all, Zoro set the glass on the nightstand and looked over to the blonde. 

“Shower,” Zoro said, still trying to collect his thoughts. “Can I take a shower?”

With a slight cock to his head and a smile, Sanji softly laughed. “Yes, you idiot. And if you don’t mind, I’d love to join you.”

___

The early morning sun was shining through his window, waking Sanji just enough for him to be aware of his surroundings, but not enough to move his mouth or sit up.

Last night was awesome. After he and Zoro cleaned up in the shower, they had a few more drinks and talked the rest of the night away. They didn’t end up going to bed until after 4:00 am, neither wanting the date to end. They had discussed more of Sanji’s YouTube videos and what he wanted to do for a living, they talked about how they both were forced into college to study a major they weren’t interested in, they learned they actually went to rival high schools and how Sanji’s was known as ‘the rich kid school’ and Zoro gave him a lot of shit for that. Even Honey had finally come out of hiding to take a few questioning sniffs at Zoro’s feet, only to run off again when he bent to pet her. Zoro wasn’t offended at all.

While they talked and sipped on some fancy wine that Zoro complained about, Sanji made them some grilled cheese and Zoro had said he had never had such an amazing meal in his entire short life. It prompted more talk about his roommate and how Luffy was practically happy with anything so Zoro never cared to put any effort into cooking something especially delicious. He had also asked him to write down the recipe. Sanji couldn’t hold back his laughter because he had been asked for dozens and dozens of his recipes, but not once has he been asked for his _grilled cheese_ recipe. Zoro asked if there was jarred garlic on it, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face, and Sanji wanted to throw the pan at him. He also made fun of his _snort_ and Sanji just about wrung his neck in half hearing _that_ come back up.

All in all, Sanji had such a great time. The asshole who bugged the shit out of him on the internet was still pretty annoying in real life, but he was also a good listener, maybe sort of funny, and a hell of a fuck. Even though he could see Zoro was having as much fun as Sanji was, he couldn’t muster up the courage to ask if he wanted to do any of this again.

Sanji knew early on in the night that he wanted to see Zoro for a second date. A third one. Shit, even a fourth one. He wanted to spar with him, see what Zoro’s true muscle-power was. He _had_ to give him a second chance to redeem himself after being so easily knocked to the ground, right? Sanji was nice enough for that, at least.

So when they had fallen asleep in each other’s arms, their lips less than an inch apart as their kissing had slowly come to a stop, Sanji thought he should have mentioned to Zoro to stay in the morning. Because right now, with the sun up telling Sanji his date had officially ended, all he could think about was willing himself awake to stop the person next to him from sneaking away. He heard the bed creak under the weight of Zoro moving to the edge, and then he was gone. Sanji was left alone.

He hated that level of sleeping; when you _know_ what’s going on but you can’t stop it because your brain hasn’t caught up to what was real and what was a dream. Zoro had left the room and there was nothing Sanji could do to stop it. He must have not wanted that second or third or fourth date as Sanji did.

It was okay, though. All good things have to come to an end, right? Sanji had a great time finally meeting the guy behind the stupid username GreenIsGood. He shared a wonderful night with him and it was enough to make Sanji happy before he had to go back to his father’s business. He only wished he could have thanked Zoro for his time, thanked him for the distraction, and thanked him for trusting him enough with his _not-so-secret_ secret. 

Sanji’s sleepy dreams took over and he fully fell back asleep.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, but there was something wrong, something was going on with Sanji’s body but he didn’t know what. He tried waking himself up again and this time he was more successful than the first. He sat up on his elbows and squinted his eyes from the bright sun and blinked until he could recognize the strange feeling he was having.

 _“Shit,”_ Sanji hissed and fell back into his pillow. “That’s... _ahh,_ that’s one way to wake up,” he said. He pulled his head up just enough to lift the covers and peer inside. There, between his legs, was Zoro. His mouth was wrapped around Sanji’s cock and he could feel the tip of his head touching the back of Zoro's throat as he gave Sanji a Good Morning blow job.

_I guess GreenIsGood decided he wanted a second date after all._

[ ](https://twitter.com/buri_op/status/1316316765983436800?s=20)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
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